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<blockquote data-quote="emotionallybankrupt" data-source="post: 364682" data-attributes="member: 8226"><p>Hey, Doddlin. I noticed a comment you made on another thread, about the pain of looking in your 17 yr. old (just moved out) son's room. One of the very BEST things I did for myself after difficult child moved out was to IMMEDIATELY--I mean within the week--TOTALLY redo that room. It's completely different and I immediately began using it for its new purpose. Honestly I less and less think of it as difficult child's room. It's a room in MY house that I have taken back for my own use. In my case, the most sensible thing to do was to redo it as easy child's bedroom, but it doesn't even have to be a bedroom. It just needs to be DIFFERENT. What do YOU need? A study? An exercise room? If you were moving to a new house and had one more room, what would you do with it?</p><p> </p><p>Obviously, it's a different deal if you think there is any chance your son will move back in, but if the most it would ever be is an overnighter here or there, you really don't owe it to him to devote a room to the chance he would use it from time to time.</p><p> </p><p>I also let easy child choose things to redecorate the bathroom that had been primarily for difficult child's use. These changes helped her and me both, with positive diversions as well as "new" practical rooms that made the memories less "in my face."</p><p> </p><p>Do what's right for YOU.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="emotionallybankrupt, post: 364682, member: 8226"] Hey, Doddlin. I noticed a comment you made on another thread, about the pain of looking in your 17 yr. old (just moved out) son's room. One of the very BEST things I did for myself after difficult child moved out was to IMMEDIATELY--I mean within the week--TOTALLY redo that room. It's completely different and I immediately began using it for its new purpose. Honestly I less and less think of it as difficult child's room. It's a room in MY house that I have taken back for my own use. In my case, the most sensible thing to do was to redo it as easy child's bedroom, but it doesn't even have to be a bedroom. It just needs to be DIFFERENT. What do YOU need? A study? An exercise room? If you were moving to a new house and had one more room, what would you do with it? Obviously, it's a different deal if you think there is any chance your son will move back in, but if the most it would ever be is an overnighter here or there, you really don't owe it to him to devote a room to the chance he would use it from time to time. I also let easy child choose things to redecorate the bathroom that had been primarily for difficult child's use. These changes helped her and me both, with positive diversions as well as "new" practical rooms that made the memories less "in my face." Do what's right for YOU. [/QUOTE]
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