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<blockquote data-quote="Doddlin" data-source="post: 364707"><p>Thanks for the supportive words you all give so freely! </p><p></p><p>PonyGirl - you're right on the mark. I realize fully that I need to help myself, I got pretty good at that earlier in life. Just a little out of practice. One of my strengths is recognition of my own problems and taking steps to pick myself up off the sidewalk. hehehe. I'll get through this one day. I'm having good days and bad. The good days remind me that I'll heal and get past this. Bad days remind me that I'm human and need to grieve when the sadness comes. I'm working hard at this time. </p><p></p><p>emotionally - Boy, I thought of this too. I did this right away last year when my oldest son (now 19) moved out. I turned it into my exercise room. My exercise room became the guest room for mother in law, step-daughter, etc. This room (my 17 yo's) is on the main floor and next to the main floor bathroom, so I have to see it all the time. I have lot's of extra rooms now and no idea what to do with them all. I was think just as you mentioned, I just cannot figure out what to do with it. Also, he hasn't come to get any of his things. It's just sitting there untouched.</p><p></p><p>He called me last night to ask about a certified letter I sent to his Dad. He wanted to know what's in it. I told him "just legal stuff" and that I'm still looking out for his best interests as I should being his custodial parent. Really I'm just covering my butt with Ex. He is only interested in being off the hook with child support for the next year and nothing else. In the letter I explained that I'd look at the current arrangement as a summer visit and we'll evaluate how he is doing then. If he chooses to drag him down, such as smoking spice with him like a few months back, then this will be detrimental. It's really just good to have things documented. My REAL plan is to detach from him. He mentioned that he wants distance from me since he has been with me for 16 years. HAHAHA. I explained this is what you do with people you have problems with. Otherwise he would want to continue our relationship and work to make it more healthy with me. Probably I said too much. But, I didn't cry (he did) and I told him I was not going to let this rob me of happiness and hurt me like it has in the past. I'm taking care of me. He calls this morning to ask for his SSN and tell me he got a job, has a new girlfriend. hahaha. Now, why isn't he going to his Dad for this support? Could it be that he knows the "source" of all that is Mom? I just said I love you. That's all. "Keep your hands inside the ride at all times" is what keeps going through my mind. Thanks for listening to me babble.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Doddlin, post: 364707"] Thanks for the supportive words you all give so freely! PonyGirl - you're right on the mark. I realize fully that I need to help myself, I got pretty good at that earlier in life. Just a little out of practice. One of my strengths is recognition of my own problems and taking steps to pick myself up off the sidewalk. hehehe. I'll get through this one day. I'm having good days and bad. The good days remind me that I'll heal and get past this. Bad days remind me that I'm human and need to grieve when the sadness comes. I'm working hard at this time. emotionally - Boy, I thought of this too. I did this right away last year when my oldest son (now 19) moved out. I turned it into my exercise room. My exercise room became the guest room for mother in law, step-daughter, etc. This room (my 17 yo's) is on the main floor and next to the main floor bathroom, so I have to see it all the time. I have lot's of extra rooms now and no idea what to do with them all. I was think just as you mentioned, I just cannot figure out what to do with it. Also, he hasn't come to get any of his things. It's just sitting there untouched. He called me last night to ask about a certified letter I sent to his Dad. He wanted to know what's in it. I told him "just legal stuff" and that I'm still looking out for his best interests as I should being his custodial parent. Really I'm just covering my butt with Ex. He is only interested in being off the hook with child support for the next year and nothing else. In the letter I explained that I'd look at the current arrangement as a summer visit and we'll evaluate how he is doing then. If he chooses to drag him down, such as smoking spice with him like a few months back, then this will be detrimental. It's really just good to have things documented. My REAL plan is to detach from him. He mentioned that he wants distance from me since he has been with me for 16 years. HAHAHA. I explained this is what you do with people you have problems with. Otherwise he would want to continue our relationship and work to make it more healthy with me. Probably I said too much. But, I didn't cry (he did) and I told him I was not going to let this rob me of happiness and hurt me like it has in the past. I'm taking care of me. He calls this morning to ask for his SSN and tell me he got a job, has a new girlfriend. hahaha. Now, why isn't he going to his Dad for this support? Could it be that he knows the "source" of all that is Mom? I just said I love you. That's all. "Keep your hands inside the ride at all times" is what keeps going through my mind. Thanks for listening to me babble. [/QUOTE]
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