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New Here -- Son With Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) diagnosis
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 633487" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I would take this post over to Parent Emeritus. This particular forum is for younger minor children. PE is for adult children. We understand and are in various stages of detachment from our adult children (depending on how bad it is). We adopted three kids and if you don't get them as infants, they can already be so damaged that they can have Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and have no conscience and never learn to care for anyone but themselves. The cause is not their faults, but they are impossible to live with. We adopted an 11 year old boy and he did it all, including the final straw...we found out he'd been messing around with our two young children (also adopted, so we have nothing against adoption). We did not feel capable of dealing with him after that and called CPS. Later, at age 13, the county charged him with First Degree Sexual Assault of a Minor Child, although he was only 13. But she was six years younger than him and that was the reason. We ddin't initiate it, but were relieved when he was found guilty and we never saw him again....the county was very kind to us and gave our family lots of help and the two other kids are doing really well. I shudder to think of how it would have been if we had not made him leave. To this day, I have no regrets about letting him go.</p><p></p><p>Reactive attachment disorder leads to antisocial personality disorder, in fact it is the same, only it is a minor child. I am guessing you adopted him not as a newborn and that he was possibly exposed to drugs and alcohol in utero and perhaps had antisocial birthparents. After adopting four kids, I am positive that nature trumps nurture in most cases. Three of my adopted kids are top notch. I can only assume their birthparents were good people. We knew my youngest ones birthmother. She was stellar and sensible and so is our daughter. Her birthfather was a nightmare, but, except for his athletic ability, she is not like him. She lucked out in the genes department. Not all kids are so lucky.A social worker who is in the trenches of foster care told us 99% of all foster kids have been sexually abused at some point in time, although many don't remember, but they often act out on others. Has your son ever done this when younger? </p><p></p><p>This is not your fault. I hope your son is not still at home with you. Antisocials have no qualms about stealing, lying, or even violence if nothing else works. And they are, at this point in time, impossible to treat partly because they are fine with themselves. Post another thread in PE and tell us more about him and what you have done so far to cope. If he is a drug addict, I'd go to Al-Anon or Narc-Anon or at least a private therapist. I'd go to a private therapist even if he is not a drug abuser. You need to learn how to deal with him in a way that is healthy for you.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and welcome, although sorry you have to be here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 633487, member: 1550"] I would take this post over to Parent Emeritus. This particular forum is for younger minor children. PE is for adult children. We understand and are in various stages of detachment from our adult children (depending on how bad it is). We adopted three kids and if you don't get them as infants, they can already be so damaged that they can have Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and have no conscience and never learn to care for anyone but themselves. The cause is not their faults, but they are impossible to live with. We adopted an 11 year old boy and he did it all, including the final straw...we found out he'd been messing around with our two young children (also adopted, so we have nothing against adoption). We did not feel capable of dealing with him after that and called CPS. Later, at age 13, the county charged him with First Degree Sexual Assault of a Minor Child, although he was only 13. But she was six years younger than him and that was the reason. We ddin't initiate it, but were relieved when he was found guilty and we never saw him again....the county was very kind to us and gave our family lots of help and the two other kids are doing really well. I shudder to think of how it would have been if we had not made him leave. To this day, I have no regrets about letting him go. Reactive attachment disorder leads to antisocial personality disorder, in fact it is the same, only it is a minor child. I am guessing you adopted him not as a newborn and that he was possibly exposed to drugs and alcohol in utero and perhaps had antisocial birthparents. After adopting four kids, I am positive that nature trumps nurture in most cases. Three of my adopted kids are top notch. I can only assume their birthparents were good people. We knew my youngest ones birthmother. She was stellar and sensible and so is our daughter. Her birthfather was a nightmare, but, except for his athletic ability, she is not like him. She lucked out in the genes department. Not all kids are so lucky.A social worker who is in the trenches of foster care told us 99% of all foster kids have been sexually abused at some point in time, although many don't remember, but they often act out on others. Has your son ever done this when younger? This is not your fault. I hope your son is not still at home with you. Antisocials have no qualms about stealing, lying, or even violence if nothing else works. And they are, at this point in time, impossible to treat partly because they are fine with themselves. Post another thread in PE and tell us more about him and what you have done so far to cope. If he is a drug addict, I'd go to Al-Anon or Narc-Anon or at least a private therapist. I'd go to a private therapist even if he is not a drug abuser. You need to learn how to deal with him in a way that is healthy for you. Hugs and welcome, although sorry you have to be here. [/QUOTE]
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