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<blockquote data-quote="WMNancyinCA" data-source="post: 341295" data-attributes="member: 9004"><p>Here's more information.</p><p> </p><p>In his Junior year in high school he became depressed, was prescribed Prozac for a while, stayed in his darkened room - scared me to death. Senior year he was better but barely graduated. Began Junior college and struggled a bit his first year, then at the end of t his third year he had two AA degrees. Went to University, did well academically the first two years and then the third struggled mightily. He is ONE class away from one degree and a couple classes from another. THAT is the one thing on his mind - finishing school. However, we have declined him money to do that because he wasted that last year at University. He kept saying he was depressed and had access to FREE counseling from the University but would not take advantage of it. He wanted US to make it possible for him to leave college for a semester and "do something different" because he was burned out. Something different would be an Overseas program or a month or two. We told him no. So he says "I asked for you help over and over and you did nothing to help me so that is why I did so poorly in school. Therefore, it's OUR fault.</p><p> </p><p>Socially he has changed since high school. In HS he had a large circle of friends, was popular, attended parties, went on trips with friends, etc. In Junior college he decided his friends weren't on the same path he was (Academically) so he slowly distanced himself from them. (They were all really good boys - typical teenagers - but they are all now living on their own.) At the time I thought oh that's responsible because GFT was trying to get through college and the friends were half going to school but stilll way into the social scene however looking back I can see that that is where things really got weird. He never made any new friends, now he has NONE so I am his only communication. He often says "I have no one else to talk to". This is NOT the way I want it. I would LOVE for him to have friends, girlfriend, etc. and be social.</p><p> </p><p>To answer your questions about drugs/alcohol no he isn't into them. He will drink an occasionaly glass of wine but remember he has no money to buy either! He has a high set of moral standards (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) tendencies).</p><p> </p><p>He is so focused on SCHOOL but yet NOT focused. He attends classes but isn't registered! His professors LOVE him. He is able to go because I have been giving him gas money and the University hasn't told him NO!</p><p> </p><p>I believe he thinks he can't do school AND work and we, his parents are OBLIGATED to see that he gets his degrees. We have supported him through six years of higher education and we feel that is enough.</p><p> </p><p>He often hangs up on me during phone conversations - I know I must not allow that - however I can't seem to put up those boundaries.</p><p> </p><p>I fear that he will harm himself if I detach. In anger he has said he would "blow his brains out" but he has never had a plan.</p><p> </p><p>I welcome feedback ..... more later .....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WMNancyinCA, post: 341295, member: 9004"] Here's more information. In his Junior year in high school he became depressed, was prescribed Prozac for a while, stayed in his darkened room - scared me to death. Senior year he was better but barely graduated. Began Junior college and struggled a bit his first year, then at the end of t his third year he had two AA degrees. Went to University, did well academically the first two years and then the third struggled mightily. He is ONE class away from one degree and a couple classes from another. THAT is the one thing on his mind - finishing school. However, we have declined him money to do that because he wasted that last year at University. He kept saying he was depressed and had access to FREE counseling from the University but would not take advantage of it. He wanted US to make it possible for him to leave college for a semester and "do something different" because he was burned out. Something different would be an Overseas program or a month or two. We told him no. So he says "I asked for you help over and over and you did nothing to help me so that is why I did so poorly in school. Therefore, it's OUR fault. Socially he has changed since high school. In HS he had a large circle of friends, was popular, attended parties, went on trips with friends, etc. In Junior college he decided his friends weren't on the same path he was (Academically) so he slowly distanced himself from them. (They were all really good boys - typical teenagers - but they are all now living on their own.) At the time I thought oh that's responsible because GFT was trying to get through college and the friends were half going to school but stilll way into the social scene however looking back I can see that that is where things really got weird. He never made any new friends, now he has NONE so I am his only communication. He often says "I have no one else to talk to". This is NOT the way I want it. I would LOVE for him to have friends, girlfriend, etc. and be social. To answer your questions about drugs/alcohol no he isn't into them. He will drink an occasionaly glass of wine but remember he has no money to buy either! He has a high set of moral standards (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) tendencies). He is so focused on SCHOOL but yet NOT focused. He attends classes but isn't registered! His professors LOVE him. He is able to go because I have been giving him gas money and the University hasn't told him NO! I believe he thinks he can't do school AND work and we, his parents are OBLIGATED to see that he gets his degrees. We have supported him through six years of higher education and we feel that is enough. He often hangs up on me during phone conversations - I know I must not allow that - however I can't seem to put up those boundaries. I fear that he will harm himself if I detach. In anger he has said he would "blow his brains out" but he has never had a plan. I welcome feedback ..... more later ..... [/QUOTE]
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