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Substance Abuse
New here, with- 16 yr old difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Sunlight" data-source="post: 346225" data-attributes="member: 97"><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Your son is out of control...sounds very similar to what I went through ten years ago with mine. "Just pot" is not JUST pot. Your son is forgetting that you provide the roof overhead and in order to get that roof and food he has to comply to your rules. I hope you are going for counseling help to strengthen you through this time. I really like this website: <a href="http://www.empoweringparents.com/category-Substance-Abuse-And-Risky-Behavior.php" target="_blank">http://www.empoweringparents.com/category-Substance-Abuse-And-Risky-Behavior.php</a> It is james Lehman's no nonsense parenting advice. please read it thoroughly. I wish I had that when my son was 16.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Once your son defies your rules of curfew and starts breaking things and kicking holes in walls, it is a losing battle for you unless you get him to know the world has consequences. First, tell him that if he breaks anything or kicks anything, you are calling the cops. Then when he does it, call them. Make him pay for all repairs to your home. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Do not give him use of the car. As you know he was using it for bad stuff anyways and could injure someone if he drives while high. In fact, I sold my son's car when he was 16 and used the money to pay myself back for the damages he cost me. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">If your son runs out when he has been told to stay in, tell him you will report him as a runaway. You are going to need police records and in-depth journaling by you as he follows this path. Reason being...is that one day when he does get in trouble with juvenile you can hand them the documented stuff and help them find him a place to go that would suit his needs. If he stays out past curfew, lock him out. Let him spend a night on the porch cold. No harm in that. Retake your power!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">He is getting older and soon the system won't want him, but you can also try calling social services and report him as an incorrigible minor. This might put some limits on him. In PA they call it filing for a petition of incorrigibility.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Who is paying for the cellphone?? you? if so, stop now. he doesnt deserve it since he won't listen to house rules. If you have taken everything else off him, may as well try this...most kids hate not having their phone. You want to pay for text messages to deal drugs?? I really do not think he will commit suicide...he is acting out too much. Do not let him learn that his family will comply to his bullying and become his victims. His sister will be sure to develop health issues if she has to put up with watching this stuff. Worse, she might see that the kids are the boss and not you and when she matures, she might mimic this as well. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Why send him to a rehab or therapeutic school if he is not willing? Don't waste your money..you cannot force rehab on anyone. You have to do something now...you have two full years before you can legally throw him out and will have to survive some how. Educate yourself and get counseling. Today sit him down and tell him the new rules. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">My son was like yours, I got the cops involved when I saw it was a losing battle. He ended up in a juvenile facility from age 16 to 18. DUIs led him to jails and prison. He is 26 and in AA now and functioning in the real world, some people take a while to grow a brain. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sunlight, post: 346225, member: 97"] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Your son is out of control...sounds very similar to what I went through ten years ago with mine. "Just pot" is not JUST pot. Your son is forgetting that you provide the roof overhead and in order to get that roof and food he has to comply to your rules. I hope you are going for counseling help to strengthen you through this time. I really like this website: [url]http://www.empoweringparents.com/category-Substance-Abuse-And-Risky-Behavior.php[/url] It is james Lehman's no nonsense parenting advice. please read it thoroughly. I wish I had that when my son was 16. Once your son defies your rules of curfew and starts breaking things and kicking holes in walls, it is a losing battle for you unless you get him to know the world has consequences. First, tell him that if he breaks anything or kicks anything, you are calling the cops. Then when he does it, call them. Make him pay for all repairs to your home. Do not give him use of the car. As you know he was using it for bad stuff anyways and could injure someone if he drives while high. In fact, I sold my son's car when he was 16 and used the money to pay myself back for the damages he cost me. If your son runs out when he has been told to stay in, tell him you will report him as a runaway. You are going to need police records and in-depth journaling by you as he follows this path. Reason being...is that one day when he does get in trouble with juvenile you can hand them the documented stuff and help them find him a place to go that would suit his needs. If he stays out past curfew, lock him out. Let him spend a night on the porch cold. No harm in that. Retake your power! He is getting older and soon the system won't want him, but you can also try calling social services and report him as an incorrigible minor. This might put some limits on him. In PA they call it filing for a petition of incorrigibility. Who is paying for the cellphone?? you? if so, stop now. he doesnt deserve it since he won't listen to house rules. If you have taken everything else off him, may as well try this...most kids hate not having their phone. You want to pay for text messages to deal drugs?? I really do not think he will commit suicide...he is acting out too much. Do not let him learn that his family will comply to his bullying and become his victims. His sister will be sure to develop health issues if she has to put up with watching this stuff. Worse, she might see that the kids are the boss and not you and when she matures, she might mimic this as well. Why send him to a rehab or therapeutic school if he is not willing? Don't waste your money..you cannot force rehab on anyone. You have to do something now...you have two full years before you can legally throw him out and will have to survive some how. Educate yourself and get counseling. Today sit him down and tell him the new rules. My son was like yours, I got the cops involved when I saw it was a losing battle. He ended up in a juvenile facility from age 16 to 18. DUIs led him to jails and prison. He is 26 and in AA now and functioning in the real world, some people take a while to grow a brain. [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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New here, with- 16 yr old difficult child
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