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Substance Abuse
New here, with- 16 yr old difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 346305" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there, hon. I'm so sorry you had to find us, but we're pretty supportive. We get it and know it's not your fault.</p><p></p><p>I have a daughter (now 25) who started smoking weed at 12. We didn't find out the total extent of her drug use until she quit, then my head reeled. According to her (and take what you want from it) "I just use pot" is usually a big fat lie especially if the child is spiraling out of control, but most parents don't freak out as much over "I'm smoking pot" as "I'm doing ecstacy and cocaine and even tried heronie and I shoot up). My daughter did all of these and she also acted so crazy they diagnosed her with bipolar, however, at least in her case, she certainly doesn't act bipolar now that she's clean. Drugs are nasty business. If your child really has a disorder, the medications will not work if he is using ANY recreational drugs or drinking. The first thing to do is to stop the drug use...of which you can't know the extent. </p><p></p><p>If I had known how steeply daughter was involved in drugs, I would have tried to put her into an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). She was on parole twice and in psychiatric hospitals (drug users and addicts get good at "playing the game" and getting out fast). Even her drug test came out clean. She laughs about that and says "It must have been a bad test or maybe I hadn't used for a week or so." Not everything shows up. As for the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), I agree that it can't cure him unless that's what he wants, but he will be away from "the friends." "The Friends" are the ones he does this stuff with and who make it really hard for him to quit, even if he wants to.</p><p></p><p>At sixteen, you are not going to have an easy time changing him if he lives at home. My daughter didn't change until she turned eighteen and we finally made her leave because the youngest two could have been taken away from us (the drugs she hid in her room sometimes AND the bongs and other cute stuff were illegal). Plus they were traumatized seeing her handcuffed by the police a few times when she was out of control and in a drug frenzy. She was lucky: Her brother from another state took her in. He is a straight arrow and read her the riot act and, since she truly wanted to quit, away from her friends she did start over, and her life changed for the better. Your child being around his friends is toxic. Do anything you need to do to get him away from them. An Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is a good way to keep him off the street.</p><p></p><p>In the end, he will stop when HE wants to stop. Nobody can make him. But remember that many kids who are wild in high school do clean up, like my daughter, who is doing really well. So don't give up. Please keep us posted and let us know what you decided to do. Going to Narc-Anon is also VERY helpful for real life support from people who have been there/done that. (((Hugs))) and take care of YOURSELF in spite of all the chaos. You can't help your son if YOU are a wreck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 346305, member: 1550"] Hi there, hon. I'm so sorry you had to find us, but we're pretty supportive. We get it and know it's not your fault. I have a daughter (now 25) who started smoking weed at 12. We didn't find out the total extent of her drug use until she quit, then my head reeled. According to her (and take what you want from it) "I just use pot" is usually a big fat lie especially if the child is spiraling out of control, but most parents don't freak out as much over "I'm smoking pot" as "I'm doing ecstacy and cocaine and even tried heronie and I shoot up). My daughter did all of these and she also acted so crazy they diagnosed her with bipolar, however, at least in her case, she certainly doesn't act bipolar now that she's clean. Drugs are nasty business. If your child really has a disorder, the medications will not work if he is using ANY recreational drugs or drinking. The first thing to do is to stop the drug use...of which you can't know the extent. If I had known how steeply daughter was involved in drugs, I would have tried to put her into an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). She was on parole twice and in psychiatric hospitals (drug users and addicts get good at "playing the game" and getting out fast). Even her drug test came out clean. She laughs about that and says "It must have been a bad test or maybe I hadn't used for a week or so." Not everything shows up. As for the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), I agree that it can't cure him unless that's what he wants, but he will be away from "the friends." "The Friends" are the ones he does this stuff with and who make it really hard for him to quit, even if he wants to. At sixteen, you are not going to have an easy time changing him if he lives at home. My daughter didn't change until she turned eighteen and we finally made her leave because the youngest two could have been taken away from us (the drugs she hid in her room sometimes AND the bongs and other cute stuff were illegal). Plus they were traumatized seeing her handcuffed by the police a few times when she was out of control and in a drug frenzy. She was lucky: Her brother from another state took her in. He is a straight arrow and read her the riot act and, since she truly wanted to quit, away from her friends she did start over, and her life changed for the better. Your child being around his friends is toxic. Do anything you need to do to get him away from them. An Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is a good way to keep him off the street. In the end, he will stop when HE wants to stop. Nobody can make him. But remember that many kids who are wild in high school do clean up, like my daughter, who is doing really well. So don't give up. Please keep us posted and let us know what you decided to do. Going to Narc-Anon is also VERY helpful for real life support from people who have been there/done that. (((Hugs))) and take care of YOURSELF in spite of all the chaos. You can't help your son if YOU are a wreck! [/QUOTE]
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New here, with- 16 yr old difficult child
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