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Substance Abuse
New here, with- 16 yr old difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Sunlight" data-source="post: 346495" data-attributes="member: 97"><p>Jaycee, I typed a long response and it went to cyberworld apparently.</p><p></p><p>Your son will get a cricket phone probably today. He is not going to stop as dealing makes more money than working. he is now going to go more underground to hide his dealings. </p><p></p><p>He will also have to deal to get his cut of drugs.</p><p></p><p>Tell him:</p><p>if he threatens suicide, next time, you are calling 911 and then do it. It will buy him three days in a psychiatric ward and he can then be released when he is no longer a threat to himself. While there they can address the drug abuse as well. Do not let fear keep you from standing firm. He is bullying you. Be more afraid that his drugging actions will lead to the morgue. </p><p></p><p>take the door off his room and tell him your home will not house drugs. tell him his room is subject to search any time day or night and he has lost his privacy like you do in jail when you are not trustworthy</p><p></p><p>don't nag him or argue with him, instead tell him you know you did not cause this, you cannot control it or cure it unless he wants help. Tell him that since you cannot stop him, you will now only offer a roof and food and no extras of any kind. no money, no rides, nothing. Be flat toned and firm in the voice. Otherwise you and your son will be at war. </p><p></p><p>if he would like to know where this leads, tell him the morgue or prison</p><p></p><p>if he would like to call me and I can tell him what jail is like, I would be happy to talk to him. in fact, I will go look up a letter my son wrote to one of the sons here while he was in jail and you can print it and leave it on his dresser to read. </p><p></p><p>you cannot force a person to rehab. my son was in inpatient rehab only after OD'ing on heroin at 18, he left within 24 hrs after I spent two days in two hospitals with him. He left because he felt better. I then insisted on outpt rehab and he left there with another guy to do drugs while I was over at the parent mtg side. He was 18 and I then threw him out..one of the many times. </p><p></p><p>My son does not do drugs and won't have anything to do with druggies. However, many druggies turn to alcohol after because they think it is safe. My son is a recovering alcoholic going to AA now-funny thing he turned from drugs to Vodka and then to simply beer-lots of it. AA keeps him in check. his choice. I told him he can live however he wants, just not here. I also told him that his choices will make his life miserable but mine will go on just the same. He finally felt enough pain from those choices to change. </p><p></p><p>((((((HUGS))))))))) you might want to pick up a book I have recommended a zillion times: codependent no more by melody beattie. she is a mother of a son who did drugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sunlight, post: 346495, member: 97"] Jaycee, I typed a long response and it went to cyberworld apparently. Your son will get a cricket phone probably today. He is not going to stop as dealing makes more money than working. he is now going to go more underground to hide his dealings. He will also have to deal to get his cut of drugs. Tell him: if he threatens suicide, next time, you are calling 911 and then do it. It will buy him three days in a psychiatric ward and he can then be released when he is no longer a threat to himself. While there they can address the drug abuse as well. Do not let fear keep you from standing firm. He is bullying you. Be more afraid that his drugging actions will lead to the morgue. take the door off his room and tell him your home will not house drugs. tell him his room is subject to search any time day or night and he has lost his privacy like you do in jail when you are not trustworthy don't nag him or argue with him, instead tell him you know you did not cause this, you cannot control it or cure it unless he wants help. Tell him that since you cannot stop him, you will now only offer a roof and food and no extras of any kind. no money, no rides, nothing. Be flat toned and firm in the voice. Otherwise you and your son will be at war. if he would like to know where this leads, tell him the morgue or prison if he would like to call me and I can tell him what jail is like, I would be happy to talk to him. in fact, I will go look up a letter my son wrote to one of the sons here while he was in jail and you can print it and leave it on his dresser to read. you cannot force a person to rehab. my son was in inpatient rehab only after OD'ing on heroin at 18, he left within 24 hrs after I spent two days in two hospitals with him. He left because he felt better. I then insisted on outpt rehab and he left there with another guy to do drugs while I was over at the parent mtg side. He was 18 and I then threw him out..one of the many times. My son does not do drugs and won't have anything to do with druggies. However, many druggies turn to alcohol after because they think it is safe. My son is a recovering alcoholic going to AA now-funny thing he turned from drugs to Vodka and then to simply beer-lots of it. AA keeps him in check. his choice. I told him he can live however he wants, just not here. I also told him that his choices will make his life miserable but mine will go on just the same. He finally felt enough pain from those choices to change. ((((((HUGS))))))))) you might want to pick up a book I have recommended a zillion times: codependent no more by melody beattie. she is a mother of a son who did drugs. [/QUOTE]
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