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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 201133" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Moonwolf, You sound like an awesome young lady. To be so committed to these young children who give you a hard time. I am sure Woofens counts you as one of her most cherished blessings. Thank you for sticking in there with these wonderful kids.</p><p> </p><p>What kinds of things do you do with the kids? Do you help the boy with his homework? If so, how does that go? If not, he may be looking for more attention from you. It doesn't have to be much, maybe just acknowledging how his day is going or if he has a fun event coming up share his excitement with him. Be a friend.</p><p> </p><p>You already know that physical strength is not the answer here. You need to try to reach him at a different place. Keep assuring him that you are his friend and he is special to you. Let him know that you know he does not like to rage and you want to help him from hurting himself and others. </p><p> </p><p>Don't take his "attacks" personal. He is hurting inside and is crying for help. He is striking out at the closest person to push away distractions so that he can put everything in context (he is getting overwhelmed). Don't throw new info into the moment. Often in our desire to help, we start throwing out a lot of suggestions in hopes that one will get the child's attention. During a meltdown or rage, these just fuel the problem because the child can not process everything while feeling that way. Maybe when a rage starts make sure t.v.s get turned off and the house is silent and ask him to close his eyes and and focus breathing? Try to take away distractions. Ask other kids to leave the room.</p><p> </p><p>What I suggest will not solve any issues but may help you get through while his mom is working on getting him the appointments needed to evaluate his needs.</p><p> </p><p>Go to your local library and find the book The Explosive Child. That may give you more strategies to reach him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 201133, member: 5096"] Moonwolf, You sound like an awesome young lady. To be so committed to these young children who give you a hard time. I am sure Woofens counts you as one of her most cherished blessings. Thank you for sticking in there with these wonderful kids. What kinds of things do you do with the kids? Do you help the boy with his homework? If so, how does that go? If not, he may be looking for more attention from you. It doesn't have to be much, maybe just acknowledging how his day is going or if he has a fun event coming up share his excitement with him. Be a friend. You already know that physical strength is not the answer here. You need to try to reach him at a different place. Keep assuring him that you are his friend and he is special to you. Let him know that you know he does not like to rage and you want to help him from hurting himself and others. Don't take his "attacks" personal. He is hurting inside and is crying for help. He is striking out at the closest person to push away distractions so that he can put everything in context (he is getting overwhelmed). Don't throw new info into the moment. Often in our desire to help, we start throwing out a lot of suggestions in hopes that one will get the child's attention. During a meltdown or rage, these just fuel the problem because the child can not process everything while feeling that way. Maybe when a rage starts make sure t.v.s get turned off and the house is silent and ask him to close his eyes and and focus breathing? Try to take away distractions. Ask other kids to leave the room. What I suggest will not solve any issues but may help you get through while his mom is working on getting him the appointments needed to evaluate his needs. Go to your local library and find the book The Explosive Child. That may give you more strategies to reach him. [/QUOTE]
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