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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 578045" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Hi, and welcome.</p><p>You have your hands full!!!</p><p></p><p>However, it also sounds like you don't exactly know what your are dealing with, in your son. If others are suggesting he be evaluated further... perhaps you should pursue that. Don't get an "Aspergers evaluation" though... get a comprehensive evaluation, where they look at the whole picture. There can be multiple things going on.</p><p></p><p>For the moment, let's assume he IS an Aspie. In that case? Maybe it's time to start learning how to parent an Aspie. Because it is counter-intuitive for most people. And it is very intensive. Aspies don't think like you think, they miss some cues and are very attuned to other cues, can seem very oppositional when really they are just totally overloaded and pushing back to survive... </p><p></p><p>To make THAT big a deal about laundry? Well... OK, I "only" have two kids. But... I work full time, too. And I <em>still</em> put away the laundry for my difficult child. It's either that or... it gets tossed on the floor and used from there. Why? Because it is <em>too much work to remember where everything goes, stack it neatly, and get everything closed up again.</em> And yes, it IS effort. Some Aspies have coordination difficulties that make even opening drawers a challenge, for example. Many challenges are not obvious, until they are recognized on various evaluations. We were told for 10 years running that we were vastly over-reacting, that our difficult child couldn't possibly be that bad, etc. Reality? NOW they tell us that there's just no way that there are others in the system like him, he's just so complex, unique and challenging. (NOW they tell me???)</p><p></p><p>Not all comprehensive evaluations cover ALL the bases, and there can be a waiting list to get in. Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluations are easier to get - and an evaluation for sensory and motor skills issues can be valuable on many fronts... Occupational Therapist (OT) report is useful to person/team doing comprehensive evaluation, Occupational Therapist (OT) has therapies and interventions that really DO help, and Occupational Therapist (OT) can suggest interventions and accommodations for home and for school.</p><p></p><p>He's seven. If you notice that he sometimes listens and sometimes doesn't, take note of what is going on at the time... how much background noise? (including subtle stuff like fans or water running) Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) can cause a LOT of behavior problems... from being labeled "bad" for not being on-task, not following directions etc., to mental burn-out from trying to listen which leads to fatigue and the issues that go with it... And seven is the earliest they test for APDs. If you are testing for APDs, make sure they cover the full spectrum, including auditory figure ground and auditory discrimination - these are not covered on every Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) test sequence.</p><p></p><p>We had to give up the idea of "making" difficult child do or be or not do/be anything. We had to lead by example, recognize and teach missing skills, learn what his triggers and drains are, and invest every waking moment in making life work, somehow, for all of us, including difficult child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 578045, member: 11791"] Hi, and welcome. You have your hands full!!! However, it also sounds like you don't exactly know what your are dealing with, in your son. If others are suggesting he be evaluated further... perhaps you should pursue that. Don't get an "Aspergers evaluation" though... get a comprehensive evaluation, where they look at the whole picture. There can be multiple things going on. For the moment, let's assume he IS an Aspie. In that case? Maybe it's time to start learning how to parent an Aspie. Because it is counter-intuitive for most people. And it is very intensive. Aspies don't think like you think, they miss some cues and are very attuned to other cues, can seem very oppositional when really they are just totally overloaded and pushing back to survive... To make THAT big a deal about laundry? Well... OK, I "only" have two kids. But... I work full time, too. And I [I]still[/I] put away the laundry for my difficult child. It's either that or... it gets tossed on the floor and used from there. Why? Because it is [I]too much work to remember where everything goes, stack it neatly, and get everything closed up again.[/I] And yes, it IS effort. Some Aspies have coordination difficulties that make even opening drawers a challenge, for example. Many challenges are not obvious, until they are recognized on various evaluations. We were told for 10 years running that we were vastly over-reacting, that our difficult child couldn't possibly be that bad, etc. Reality? NOW they tell us that there's just no way that there are others in the system like him, he's just so complex, unique and challenging. (NOW they tell me???) Not all comprehensive evaluations cover ALL the bases, and there can be a waiting list to get in. Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluations are easier to get - and an evaluation for sensory and motor skills issues can be valuable on many fronts... Occupational Therapist (OT) report is useful to person/team doing comprehensive evaluation, Occupational Therapist (OT) has therapies and interventions that really DO help, and Occupational Therapist (OT) can suggest interventions and accommodations for home and for school. He's seven. If you notice that he sometimes listens and sometimes doesn't, take note of what is going on at the time... how much background noise? (including subtle stuff like fans or water running) Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) can cause a LOT of behavior problems... from being labeled "bad" for not being on-task, not following directions etc., to mental burn-out from trying to listen which leads to fatigue and the issues that go with it... And seven is the earliest they test for APDs. If you are testing for APDs, make sure they cover the full spectrum, including auditory figure ground and auditory discrimination - these are not covered on every Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) test sequence. We had to give up the idea of "making" difficult child do or be or not do/be anything. We had to lead by example, recognize and teach missing skills, learn what his triggers and drains are, and invest every waking moment in making life work, somehow, for all of us, including difficult child. [/QUOTE]
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