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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 578130" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>So he was severely abused and may have been born with drugs and alcohol in his system. </p><p>You can't take him to a regular psychiatrist or therapist and expect results with this sort of background.They probably don't know much about unattached children. Most don't. Son was <em><strong>obviously</strong></em> traumatized both in and outside the womb. I suggest finding an attachment therapist who understands abused, adopted kids. Attachment disordered children have learned early on that the ony person they can't count on is themselves and they can appear very selfish, but it is for their survival. Being locked in the closet made him fear and resent other people and not trust anyone, and you can't love that trauma away. He needs a special kind of help that most therapists are not capable of doing. I suspect his sisters also have attachment problems, if they were raised in such chaotic and abusive circumstances. </p><p>Be careful. If your seven year old tends to get violent you need to watch your baby 24/7 or he could get hurt. How does this child treat other people? Animals? Does he pee and poop inappropriately or is he fascinated by fire. Does he steal? Does he have a conscience? These would be scary, but expected behaviors due to his background and he needs help...intnesive help...NOW.</p><p>You can probably get a referral to attachment/adoption therapists if you go to an adoption group. You can't treat son like he is your normal every day kid who just has ADHD and ODD. He has more intense issues than either one and it will be a long, hard, tough road parenting him. You need the right kind of help and you need to make sure all three children can and do bond with you. I'm an adoptive mom and living with an unattached child can range from frustrating to dangerous. Get help ASAP!!! Hugs!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 578130, member: 1550"] So he was severely abused and may have been born with drugs and alcohol in his system. You can't take him to a regular psychiatrist or therapist and expect results with this sort of background.They probably don't know much about unattached children. Most don't. Son was [I][B]obviously[/B][/I] traumatized both in and outside the womb. I suggest finding an attachment therapist who understands abused, adopted kids. Attachment disordered children have learned early on that the ony person they can't count on is themselves and they can appear very selfish, but it is for their survival. Being locked in the closet made him fear and resent other people and not trust anyone, and you can't love that trauma away. He needs a special kind of help that most therapists are not capable of doing. I suspect his sisters also have attachment problems, if they were raised in such chaotic and abusive circumstances. Be careful. If your seven year old tends to get violent you need to watch your baby 24/7 or he could get hurt. How does this child treat other people? Animals? Does he pee and poop inappropriately or is he fascinated by fire. Does he steal? Does he have a conscience? These would be scary, but expected behaviors due to his background and he needs help...intnesive help...NOW. You can probably get a referral to attachment/adoption therapists if you go to an adoption group. You can't treat son like he is your normal every day kid who just has ADHD and ODD. He has more intense issues than either one and it will be a long, hard, tough road parenting him. You need the right kind of help and you need to make sure all three children can and do bond with you. I'm an adoptive mom and living with an unattached child can range from frustrating to dangerous. Get help ASAP!!! Hugs! [/QUOTE]
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