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New & here's my story (for today)
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<blockquote data-quote="flachic" data-source="post: 34672" data-attributes="member: 3636"><p>I just read all of your replies & want to thank you. I actually do have the book mentioned & have read it previously, but I don't recall if I actually read the whole thing or flipped through it. I'm going to try to answer all the questions. </p><p></p><p>difficult child was diagnosed with depression & anxiety by 2 separate teams of people..once when he was 5 and once at 8. I have to look over the paperwork to see what their titles were. </p><p></p><p>difficult child had EMDR last week & 2 weeks prior to that. Both times he had 'explosions' that seemed to be delayed a few days.</p><p></p><p>I am always so torn about the consequences...I have been accused by family members as 'dropping the ball' and 'not holding him accountable for his behavior' (one of those family members is a MSW who works with children). I have been told that I'm not doing enough, I'm doing too much, I'm too close with him, I need to make different decisions...'get him back in school', 'get him in a better program', etc. </p><p></p><p>I took him out of school because every day he'd come home crying that he was a 'bad kid' & hated himself immensely. In 3rd grade, his teacher put him in a desk, facing the wall, back to the room...for 2 months. His grades dropped. His behavior worsened. That was the decision maker for me. He finished 3rd grade & I began homeschooling. It has been good at times & difficult at times. He's very bright, but rejects some subjects (like math) & I don't have the patience any more to do the schooling. I would say he's generally cooperative.</p><p></p><p>He likes to control as much of his environment as possible. Has been 'independent' in nature since he was young, yet wants me close by at the same time. People always commented (from 3 days old) on how 'alert' he was. He talked early (as did I). Sleep patterns change regularly (as do mine)...he can sleep alot or a little. Has a huge addiction to sweets. No he hasn't had a neuropsychologist evaluation. No medications because there aren't any for anxiety for children. Some talk of ADD but the behaviors aren't present in all settings...notice more hyperactivity when faced with social situations. He was exposed to so much violence & verbal abuse from birth to age 4 that I wanted to treat him for what may have come from that situation first. I'm also trying to treat myself (in counseling every other week as well--we flip back & forth because I can't afford more at this point--yes we have insurance but I still have to pay $35/visit, which is fine for one visit a week--anything more would be too much). </p><p></p><p>We have no sitter now & we both have to work on Fri & Sat. Sitters are hard to come by, especially with-a child with-behavioral issues...we went thru at least 5 within the first 3 months of my job (that I've been at for 15 months). This last one was a savior...now I don't know what we're going to do! We have 3 days to figure it out. That's the other stressor at this point!</p><p></p><p>I'm going to read those threads suggested (already have them up in another window) & pull down that book. It's so hard to know what to do!!! I feel like we've tried so much, but then maybe we haven't done any of it for long enough.</p><p></p><p>Thanks again. I feel so relieved to find people who actually Understand!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flachic, post: 34672, member: 3636"] I just read all of your replies & want to thank you. I actually do have the book mentioned & have read it previously, but I don't recall if I actually read the whole thing or flipped through it. I'm going to try to answer all the questions. difficult child was diagnosed with depression & anxiety by 2 separate teams of people..once when he was 5 and once at 8. I have to look over the paperwork to see what their titles were. difficult child had EMDR last week & 2 weeks prior to that. Both times he had 'explosions' that seemed to be delayed a few days. I am always so torn about the consequences...I have been accused by family members as 'dropping the ball' and 'not holding him accountable for his behavior' (one of those family members is a MSW who works with children). I have been told that I'm not doing enough, I'm doing too much, I'm too close with him, I need to make different decisions...'get him back in school', 'get him in a better program', etc. I took him out of school because every day he'd come home crying that he was a 'bad kid' & hated himself immensely. In 3rd grade, his teacher put him in a desk, facing the wall, back to the room...for 2 months. His grades dropped. His behavior worsened. That was the decision maker for me. He finished 3rd grade & I began homeschooling. It has been good at times & difficult at times. He's very bright, but rejects some subjects (like math) & I don't have the patience any more to do the schooling. I would say he's generally cooperative. He likes to control as much of his environment as possible. Has been 'independent' in nature since he was young, yet wants me close by at the same time. People always commented (from 3 days old) on how 'alert' he was. He talked early (as did I). Sleep patterns change regularly (as do mine)...he can sleep alot or a little. Has a huge addiction to sweets. No he hasn't had a neuropsychologist evaluation. No medications because there aren't any for anxiety for children. Some talk of ADD but the behaviors aren't present in all settings...notice more hyperactivity when faced with social situations. He was exposed to so much violence & verbal abuse from birth to age 4 that I wanted to treat him for what may have come from that situation first. I'm also trying to treat myself (in counseling every other week as well--we flip back & forth because I can't afford more at this point--yes we have insurance but I still have to pay $35/visit, which is fine for one visit a week--anything more would be too much). We have no sitter now & we both have to work on Fri & Sat. Sitters are hard to come by, especially with-a child with-behavioral issues...we went thru at least 5 within the first 3 months of my job (that I've been at for 15 months). This last one was a savior...now I don't know what we're going to do! We have 3 days to figure it out. That's the other stressor at this point! I'm going to read those threads suggested (already have them up in another window) & pull down that book. It's so hard to know what to do!!! I feel like we've tried so much, but then maybe we haven't done any of it for long enough. Thanks again. I feel so relieved to find people who actually Understand!!! [/QUOTE]
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