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New Member - difficult child in Hospital
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 12796" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Apologies, been there done that - when I re-read what I'd written I saw that I inadvertently implied that you had recommended punishment-based discipline. I didn't intend that - only to emphasise that it is easy, when being a strict disciplinarian, to tip over too far into punishment-based, because that is what WE did, to our cost. I cringe when I remember some of the things we tried, to teach both our sons (at different times) to comply with things we now understand were impossible for them at the time. And each time we were laying the foundations of oppositional behaviour.</p><p></p><p>Having the opportunity to work with other autistic/Aspie kids over the last two months has been so valuable for us because other parents have said to me, "If my son turns out anywhere near as well as difficult child 1 I will be very happy." After all the damage I feel I've done this was so gratifying and healing. When I think where we've come from (with both boys) and where we are heading, it gives me hope. It is so easy to feel lost and overwhelmed but what has helped me the most is getting the chance to learn from all the other Warrior Parents (and grandparents) wherever we meet them, but especially on this site.</p><p></p><p>WID, I can speak from experience of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) but not from bipolar. Just emphasising this so you can keep any comments of mine in perspective. From my point of view, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) could still explain everything. But the others are right, he does need a thorough evaluation. I hope whatever is found leads your son to productive support and management. He sounds like he's in the right place for it.</p><p></p><p>Are you and your wife getting some respite and recovery space at the moment? Counselling? You sounded like you have some regroup and recovery needs, to give you the strength you will need for when he comes home. Or in lay terms, get as much sleep as you can, while you can!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 12796, member: 1991"] Apologies, been there done that - when I re-read what I'd written I saw that I inadvertently implied that you had recommended punishment-based discipline. I didn't intend that - only to emphasise that it is easy, when being a strict disciplinarian, to tip over too far into punishment-based, because that is what WE did, to our cost. I cringe when I remember some of the things we tried, to teach both our sons (at different times) to comply with things we now understand were impossible for them at the time. And each time we were laying the foundations of oppositional behaviour. Having the opportunity to work with other autistic/Aspie kids over the last two months has been so valuable for us because other parents have said to me, "If my son turns out anywhere near as well as difficult child 1 I will be very happy." After all the damage I feel I've done this was so gratifying and healing. When I think where we've come from (with both boys) and where we are heading, it gives me hope. It is so easy to feel lost and overwhelmed but what has helped me the most is getting the chance to learn from all the other Warrior Parents (and grandparents) wherever we meet them, but especially on this site. WID, I can speak from experience of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) but not from bipolar. Just emphasising this so you can keep any comments of mine in perspective. From my point of view, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) could still explain everything. But the others are right, he does need a thorough evaluation. I hope whatever is found leads your son to productive support and management. He sounds like he's in the right place for it. Are you and your wife getting some respite and recovery space at the moment? Counselling? You sounded like you have some regroup and recovery needs, to give you the strength you will need for when he comes home. Or in lay terms, get as much sleep as you can, while you can! Marg [/QUOTE]
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