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New Member... Hoping I’m Posting in an Appropriate Place
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<blockquote data-quote="JaneStepmom" data-source="post: 753194" data-attributes="member: 24742"><p>Thank you both. I, personally, have lived through, survived, and overcome domestic violence. Therefore, seeing his behavior in my home after so many years of safety is rightly alarming enough to have made me consider leaving. But he is a child. I have two stepsons in the home (the other is a bit younger boy), and I have an adult child who is well out of the house. They are all my children, and I love them dearly.</p><p></p><p>Of an adult in my home threatened me my life, one of us would would be permanently out of the house. If an adult at work threatened to break my head, he’d be in cuffs. But this is my child, barely a preteen. Yes.</p><p></p><p>I will start journaling the incidents. I was thinking about doing that, and your encouragement solidified me resolve.</p><p></p><p>They do have good insurance, and both parents are active in their school, and I believe they will research and make available all programs offered. Both boys are active in many of the programs type mentioned, but lately the older one has gotten in trouble at school, scouts, camp, and around the neighborhood... due to assaulting smaller, younger, or female children.</p><p></p><p>The divorce certainly was horrible. I think kids believe everything parents tell them, and then just as they are beginning to understand their place in the world, everything they were told, all the most important things, seem like they were just lies.</p><p></p><p>I suppose mom could have used alcohol or drugs. He’s always been small for his age, and has several chronic but fairly common physical illnesses.</p><p></p><p>I have seen her become very upset and yell at their father during custodial exchanges even though he has always been conciliatory during the ones I’ve viewed. I just wouldn’t pin it on her though.</p><p></p><p>At this point, the child must begin accepting behavior for his own responsibility. Otherwise, he will end up incarcerated at some point in his life, and he’s so bright, charming, and usually fun to be around. He just gets enraged.</p><p></p><p>I’ve made an appointment with an LISW tomorrow so that I can get some professional insight on this situation and on what I might do to help. Perhaps I’ll have a journal of behaviors by then. I have nothing else to do, sitting here safe and lonely in my room. I’m wondering if retreating is right. I feel like it may be rewarding the behavior.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JaneStepmom, post: 753194, member: 24742"] Thank you both. I, personally, have lived through, survived, and overcome domestic violence. Therefore, seeing his behavior in my home after so many years of safety is rightly alarming enough to have made me consider leaving. But he is a child. I have two stepsons in the home (the other is a bit younger boy), and I have an adult child who is well out of the house. They are all my children, and I love them dearly. Of an adult in my home threatened me my life, one of us would would be permanently out of the house. If an adult at work threatened to break my head, he’d be in cuffs. But this is my child, barely a preteen. Yes. I will start journaling the incidents. I was thinking about doing that, and your encouragement solidified me resolve. They do have good insurance, and both parents are active in their school, and I believe they will research and make available all programs offered. Both boys are active in many of the programs type mentioned, but lately the older one has gotten in trouble at school, scouts, camp, and around the neighborhood... due to assaulting smaller, younger, or female children. The divorce certainly was horrible. I think kids believe everything parents tell them, and then just as they are beginning to understand their place in the world, everything they were told, all the most important things, seem like they were just lies. I suppose mom could have used alcohol or drugs. He’s always been small for his age, and has several chronic but fairly common physical illnesses. I have seen her become very upset and yell at their father during custodial exchanges even though he has always been conciliatory during the ones I’ve viewed. I just wouldn’t pin it on her though. At this point, the child must begin accepting behavior for his own responsibility. Otherwise, he will end up incarcerated at some point in his life, and he’s so bright, charming, and usually fun to be around. He just gets enraged. I’ve made an appointment with an LISW tomorrow so that I can get some professional insight on this situation and on what I might do to help. Perhaps I’ll have a journal of behaviors by then. I have nothing else to do, sitting here safe and lonely in my room. I’m wondering if retreating is right. I feel like it may be rewarding the behavior. [/QUOTE]
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