Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
New Member... Hoping I’m Posting in an Appropriate Place
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 753206" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You are right to take precautions the way you have. So many parents don't understand how vigilant they have to be. Your post catapulted me back to when my own son was a preteen. We were not safe at all. Only my husband was safe if my oldest son was in the house. The best help we got was 3 months in a psychiatric hospital (locked ward) when he was 12. Why? He tried to choke his sister to death. She was sound asleep and woke because his hands were around her throat. Our cat insisted I wake up and led me to them, of all things. Her door was locked but he picked it. He came close to succeeding. </p><p></p><p>Two years later we were all way past sick of it. He just kept getting bigger and more violent. He would come at me because he knew he had to get through me to get to his little sister. The last time he was living with us, he beat the holy heck out of me and then threw me into the bar that separated our kitchen and living room. I had the most awful bruises across my back from hitting it with so much force. I called the cops and insisted that they take him somewhere. I was NOT going to live in fear any longer. He went to the local Youth Shelter for 2 days. Why 2 days? He wouldn't follow their rules either. I got a call to come get him. I said NO. My parents live close by and went to get him before our court date. Eventually I agreed to let my parents have a chance to help turn him around. I warned them of the violence. But they insisted. </p><p></p><p>We got lucky. Somehow he managed to mature enough and listen enough to not get himself in any more trouble. My parents actually apologized - they thought I was grossly exaggerating his violence and attacks. Then he backed my mother up against a wall (NOT easy, even my own brother has never managed that one) and on another occasion punched my father. My dad punched him back. Twice. Long story short, my son is 28, amazing and wonderful. He has worked HARD to repair our relationships, and we are so proud of him. But during those early years, I wouldn't relive those for anything.</p><p></p><p>My son started with hurting his little sister (3.5 years younger). By the time he was in first grade, we were not letting them spend even 60 seconds alone together. If we did, she ended up bruised. If only one adult was home, we couldn't use the restroom alone. I took my daughter in with me and had her stand in the tub, and my hubby did the same with our oldest. Some days I really NEEDED that break from my kids while I peed in peace, but I never took it. It wasn't worth having him do something to my daughter.</p><p></p><p>I tell you this so that you know you are NOT alone. Push the local domestic violence shelter to help you. Don't be alone with him. Stay on top of this. You are not alone. </p><p></p><p>Start a Parent Report. The info is in the link in my signature. It is a report that can help you get the right help and put the pieces together to figure this out. Try to get him in to a good counselor. See if the local DV center has a program for abusers that he can take. Sure, he is young. But he is old enough to light a match or get a knife and use it.</p><p></p><p>Guns, if you don't have them at home, are not the big worry. Knives are. Lock up all the knives and scissors in the house. It will make cooking a pain, but being safe is worth it. There are a LOT of websites that will tell you how to kill someone with a knife. My son found directions online while he was at school. Make sure there is monitoring software on any computer he uses and that you check what he is doing often.</p><p></p><p>This is a great place. Keep coming back because people here not only care, we have been there, done that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 753206, member: 1233"] You are right to take precautions the way you have. So many parents don't understand how vigilant they have to be. Your post catapulted me back to when my own son was a preteen. We were not safe at all. Only my husband was safe if my oldest son was in the house. The best help we got was 3 months in a psychiatric hospital (locked ward) when he was 12. Why? He tried to choke his sister to death. She was sound asleep and woke because his hands were around her throat. Our cat insisted I wake up and led me to them, of all things. Her door was locked but he picked it. He came close to succeeding. Two years later we were all way past sick of it. He just kept getting bigger and more violent. He would come at me because he knew he had to get through me to get to his little sister. The last time he was living with us, he beat the holy heck out of me and then threw me into the bar that separated our kitchen and living room. I had the most awful bruises across my back from hitting it with so much force. I called the cops and insisted that they take him somewhere. I was NOT going to live in fear any longer. He went to the local Youth Shelter for 2 days. Why 2 days? He wouldn't follow their rules either. I got a call to come get him. I said NO. My parents live close by and went to get him before our court date. Eventually I agreed to let my parents have a chance to help turn him around. I warned them of the violence. But they insisted. We got lucky. Somehow he managed to mature enough and listen enough to not get himself in any more trouble. My parents actually apologized - they thought I was grossly exaggerating his violence and attacks. Then he backed my mother up against a wall (NOT easy, even my own brother has never managed that one) and on another occasion punched my father. My dad punched him back. Twice. Long story short, my son is 28, amazing and wonderful. He has worked HARD to repair our relationships, and we are so proud of him. But during those early years, I wouldn't relive those for anything. My son started with hurting his little sister (3.5 years younger). By the time he was in first grade, we were not letting them spend even 60 seconds alone together. If we did, she ended up bruised. If only one adult was home, we couldn't use the restroom alone. I took my daughter in with me and had her stand in the tub, and my hubby did the same with our oldest. Some days I really NEEDED that break from my kids while I peed in peace, but I never took it. It wasn't worth having him do something to my daughter. I tell you this so that you know you are NOT alone. Push the local domestic violence shelter to help you. Don't be alone with him. Stay on top of this. You are not alone. Start a Parent Report. The info is in the link in my signature. It is a report that can help you get the right help and put the pieces together to figure this out. Try to get him in to a good counselor. See if the local DV center has a program for abusers that he can take. Sure, he is young. But he is old enough to light a match or get a knife and use it. Guns, if you don't have them at home, are not the big worry. Knives are. Lock up all the knives and scissors in the house. It will make cooking a pain, but being safe is worth it. There are a LOT of websites that will tell you how to kill someone with a knife. My son found directions online while he was at school. Make sure there is monitoring software on any computer he uses and that you check what he is doing often. This is a great place. Keep coming back because people here not only care, we have been there, done that. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
New Member... Hoping I’m Posting in an Appropriate Place
Top