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New Member in difficult situation
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 495411" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>In my opinion the more you push her to break up the more she will lie and defy your wishes. If you force her to come home she might just leave your home for him and then be totally at this guy's mercy. I would just go to her and say something like "Honey you are well aware of your father and my opinion on this relationship. We do not think it is healthy but we realize that we cannot change how you feel. We want you to know that you always can count on us for help. Should you find yourself in a position where you feel he is going to hurt you or is stiffiling you and controling you too much and you want to get out and do not know how, please call us or the hotline on domestic abuse. I am sad that you are in the position of having to choose between him and your career. I want you to know that from our end at least you will not have to choose between him and your parents. Your father and I love you with all our hearts and always will." Maybe with the pressure from her parents off of her she will drop the guy on her own terms and that would be the best for all. </p><p></p><p>I am really sorry because my easy child gave up her dream of being a doctor for her controlling and needy boyfriend (now husband) and it has affected her happiness ever since. We tried to get them to go to counseling before the wedding because of this very issue. He was jealous of her relationship with me (still is) jealouse of her time spent with friends (still is) and very demanding of perfection and intolerant of her needs. Sadly I see the same for your daughter if she doesn't ditch the guy but also know that the more you push her in that direction the more she will dig in and defy your wishes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 495411, member: 2315"] In my opinion the more you push her to break up the more she will lie and defy your wishes. If you force her to come home she might just leave your home for him and then be totally at this guy's mercy. I would just go to her and say something like "Honey you are well aware of your father and my opinion on this relationship. We do not think it is healthy but we realize that we cannot change how you feel. We want you to know that you always can count on us for help. Should you find yourself in a position where you feel he is going to hurt you or is stiffiling you and controling you too much and you want to get out and do not know how, please call us or the hotline on domestic abuse. I am sad that you are in the position of having to choose between him and your career. I want you to know that from our end at least you will not have to choose between him and your parents. Your father and I love you with all our hearts and always will." Maybe with the pressure from her parents off of her she will drop the guy on her own terms and that would be the best for all. I am really sorry because my easy child gave up her dream of being a doctor for her controlling and needy boyfriend (now husband) and it has affected her happiness ever since. We tried to get them to go to counseling before the wedding because of this very issue. He was jealous of her relationship with me (still is) jealouse of her time spent with friends (still is) and very demanding of perfection and intolerant of her needs. Sadly I see the same for your daughter if she doesn't ditch the guy but also know that the more you push her in that direction the more she will dig in and defy your wishes. [/QUOTE]
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