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Substance Abuse
New member - Just found out 15 y/o difficult child using alcohol, marijuana and cigarettes
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<blockquote data-quote="CharlestonGal" data-source="post: 524714" data-attributes="member: 14433"><p>Thanks Z and CJ. difficult child was told from the beginning that we would allow her to try public HS and if it didn't go well, she was going back to the smaller private school system. I don't know that I blame the school at this point though. The way I look at it, she had all the options in the world open to her when she started at that school - tons of extracurricular activities, numerous peer groups to choose from, numerous positive activities to get involved in. Nobody kidnapped her into the substance abusing group - she deliberately chose that peer group to identify and associate with. I do not yet understand why she made that decision when she had the tools and the knowledge to make much better ones. Most of these kids live right here in my neighborhood and this is where she was hanging out with them, drinking and smoking and getting high. She wasn't doing it at school. Right now, she is not allowed to just "hang out" in the neighborhood. She is not "grounded" per se, but she is not allowed unstructured, unsupervised time to hang out. She is only allowed activities supervised by me, her father, and adults we trust. I have explained to her that she is not being punished; she will simply be provided chaperones to help her make decisions for awhile.</p><p></p><p>I'm not sure how long it will take for her to rebel against the closer supervision, but for now she has expressed understanding of why it's been implemented and she grudgingly admitted she earned it. But, it has also become very clear to be that my difficult child is an amazing and convincing liar and right now I do not trust anything she tells me. I have placed spyware on her computer and have some on order for her cellphone. I plan to monitor her closely for the next few months and make decisions based on how she responds to supervision and counseling. Private school is definitely back on the table if it comes to that.</p><p></p><p>Thank you so much for your input. This is a lonely, depressing business.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CharlestonGal, post: 524714, member: 14433"] Thanks Z and CJ. difficult child was told from the beginning that we would allow her to try public HS and if it didn't go well, she was going back to the smaller private school system. I don't know that I blame the school at this point though. The way I look at it, she had all the options in the world open to her when she started at that school - tons of extracurricular activities, numerous peer groups to choose from, numerous positive activities to get involved in. Nobody kidnapped her into the substance abusing group - she deliberately chose that peer group to identify and associate with. I do not yet understand why she made that decision when she had the tools and the knowledge to make much better ones. Most of these kids live right here in my neighborhood and this is where she was hanging out with them, drinking and smoking and getting high. She wasn't doing it at school. Right now, she is not allowed to just "hang out" in the neighborhood. She is not "grounded" per se, but she is not allowed unstructured, unsupervised time to hang out. She is only allowed activities supervised by me, her father, and adults we trust. I have explained to her that she is not being punished; she will simply be provided chaperones to help her make decisions for awhile. I'm not sure how long it will take for her to rebel against the closer supervision, but for now she has expressed understanding of why it's been implemented and she grudgingly admitted she earned it. But, it has also become very clear to be that my difficult child is an amazing and convincing liar and right now I do not trust anything she tells me. I have placed spyware on her computer and have some on order for her cellphone. I plan to monitor her closely for the next few months and make decisions based on how she responds to supervision and counseling. Private school is definitely back on the table if it comes to that. Thank you so much for your input. This is a lonely, depressing business. [/QUOTE]
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New member - Just found out 15 y/o difficult child using alcohol, marijuana and cigarettes
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