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Substance Abuse
New member - Just found out 15 y/o difficult child using alcohol, marijuana and cigarettes
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 524771"><p>Hi and welcome to the board. I am glad you found us but sad that you need us. </p><p></p><p>Though my son at 19 was older, he went from being a "perfect child" to a pot smoking, difficult child in a matter of months and it took us by surprise. Like you, I mourn the loss of my reasonable, responsible, loving child and I resent the stranger who has taken his place.</p><p></p><p>My son's problems began when he started university. He was assaulted his first week there by a drunk townie and after that he fell into a bad crowd. He sought out a kid from our home town & his hs whom he had known for years but had never been a close friend. This kid is a partier & pothead and I think my son found instant acceptance with him. They are now best friends & roommates, my kid has failed out of school his 3rd semester and yet chooses to be apart from our family and live with this guy and "pretend" to be a college student. We are no longer financially supporting him as we cannot support a lifestyle that includes drug use. And at age 20 (now) our hands are tied. No amount of pleading can get him to accept that he needs help. As far as I know - he is only using pot and booze - but it is definitely not working for him. I am not naive enough to think he couldn't be using other things - but I don't think he has descended into the depths of narcotics, etc. (yet?) He is still managing to hold onto his friends, apartment and job, and the persona of a normal life which gives me a glimmer of hope, but I am not unrealistic. He blames us for his problems and lies to us all the time.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is still young enough for you to make a difference. I would exhaust all areas of help for her. Counseling, family counseling, drug testing, IOP, -- everything. When they are 17 and 364 days, they are still your dependent, your responsibility and within a bit of your control. Unfortunately, the very next day (18th birthday) you are expected to butt out completely. It's incredibly hard to swallow. My son's school, his landlord, his bank refused to help us help him...as though the parents who loved and raised him could be malevolently trying to control him - and despite the warning signs (failing grades, late rent, delinquent accounts) that validated our concerns!</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the board, we are here for you. We get it. {{{hugs}}}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 524771"] Hi and welcome to the board. I am glad you found us but sad that you need us. Though my son at 19 was older, he went from being a "perfect child" to a pot smoking, difficult child in a matter of months and it took us by surprise. Like you, I mourn the loss of my reasonable, responsible, loving child and I resent the stranger who has taken his place. My son's problems began when he started university. He was assaulted his first week there by a drunk townie and after that he fell into a bad crowd. He sought out a kid from our home town & his hs whom he had known for years but had never been a close friend. This kid is a partier & pothead and I think my son found instant acceptance with him. They are now best friends & roommates, my kid has failed out of school his 3rd semester and yet chooses to be apart from our family and live with this guy and "pretend" to be a college student. We are no longer financially supporting him as we cannot support a lifestyle that includes drug use. And at age 20 (now) our hands are tied. No amount of pleading can get him to accept that he needs help. As far as I know - he is only using pot and booze - but it is definitely not working for him. I am not naive enough to think he couldn't be using other things - but I don't think he has descended into the depths of narcotics, etc. (yet?) He is still managing to hold onto his friends, apartment and job, and the persona of a normal life which gives me a glimmer of hope, but I am not unrealistic. He blames us for his problems and lies to us all the time. Your daughter is still young enough for you to make a difference. I would exhaust all areas of help for her. Counseling, family counseling, drug testing, IOP, -- everything. When they are 17 and 364 days, they are still your dependent, your responsibility and within a bit of your control. Unfortunately, the very next day (18th birthday) you are expected to butt out completely. It's incredibly hard to swallow. My son's school, his landlord, his bank refused to help us help him...as though the parents who loved and raised him could be malevolently trying to control him - and despite the warning signs (failing grades, late rent, delinquent accounts) that validated our concerns! Welcome to the board, we are here for you. We get it. {{{hugs}}} [/QUOTE]
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New member - Just found out 15 y/o difficult child using alcohol, marijuana and cigarettes
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