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New Member looking for some "words of wisdom" about 18yr son at home still in HS!
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 492019" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Welcome to the board ostate. I am not sure what state you are in but like some folks say the age difference could be an issue or it may not but that may not be your biggest issue. </p><p></p><p>It sounds like you are dealing with 2 or 3 fairly difficult children on some level. That has to be taking its toll on you. You asked about taking something as a parent. Many of the parents on this board have found that they needed to get on medication because of dealing with our challenging kids. There is no shame in that. If you really dont want to go the prescription route, there is the natural route with herbal stuff like melatonin for sleep and St Johns wart for mild depression. </p><p></p><p>As far as the 18 year old goes, with him being so close to graduation I do think I would attempt to stick it out till he gets that diploma if at all possible. Then when he was about a week before graduation, I would sit him down and start talking about a contract for getting him either in college or working full time and getting out on his own. I do have a feeling drugs or drinking may have a role in this as well as him stopping his adhd medications if his behavior deteriorated after stopping those. If he ends up on his own and his life gets rather difficult for him on his own, he may end up accepting that he needs his medication again. I have found out that that my son is a totally different person when he lives on his own. Much more grown up and responsible and more of a pleasure to be around. We can hardly stand to be around him when he lives with us but when he lives away from us, he is fine. Of course, it took till he was in his early 20's for that to happen. They have studied this and found out that the frontal lobe doesnt completely finish growing until about 24/25. </p><p></p><p>One thing you may want to suggest to your son if he is willing is the military. It has helped many young people grow up and gives them a step up and a place to grow into the person they want to be. My middle son who was/is ADHD did very well in the Marines. He is now working for the Sheriffs Dept. There is hope.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 492019, member: 1514"] Welcome to the board ostate. I am not sure what state you are in but like some folks say the age difference could be an issue or it may not but that may not be your biggest issue. It sounds like you are dealing with 2 or 3 fairly difficult children on some level. That has to be taking its toll on you. You asked about taking something as a parent. Many of the parents on this board have found that they needed to get on medication because of dealing with our challenging kids. There is no shame in that. If you really dont want to go the prescription route, there is the natural route with herbal stuff like melatonin for sleep and St Johns wart for mild depression. As far as the 18 year old goes, with him being so close to graduation I do think I would attempt to stick it out till he gets that diploma if at all possible. Then when he was about a week before graduation, I would sit him down and start talking about a contract for getting him either in college or working full time and getting out on his own. I do have a feeling drugs or drinking may have a role in this as well as him stopping his adhd medications if his behavior deteriorated after stopping those. If he ends up on his own and his life gets rather difficult for him on his own, he may end up accepting that he needs his medication again. I have found out that that my son is a totally different person when he lives on his own. Much more grown up and responsible and more of a pleasure to be around. We can hardly stand to be around him when he lives with us but when he lives away from us, he is fine. Of course, it took till he was in his early 20's for that to happen. They have studied this and found out that the frontal lobe doesnt completely finish growing until about 24/25. One thing you may want to suggest to your son if he is willing is the military. It has helped many young people grow up and gives them a step up and a place to grow into the person they want to be. My middle son who was/is ADHD did very well in the Marines. He is now working for the Sheriffs Dept. There is hope. [/QUOTE]
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New Member looking for some "words of wisdom" about 18yr son at home still in HS!
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