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New member - need help with 16yr old daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="startingfresh" data-source="post: 746919" data-attributes="member: 22380"><p>Julie65, I would have described my son at 15 very much like you describe your daughter. Because of his inability to control his temper and moods, we lived in chaos. However, he managed in regular classes, excelling in sports, having friends all the while acting calm and normal. Yet at home, he was a completely different person. It was as if he let it all out at home, all the pent up anxiety and frustration. Once he hit 15, things got very bad. I think he found weed around this time to self medicate. His risk taking behavior and unwillingness to attend in school or even attend school was the breaking point for us. </p><p></p><p> We met with an educational consultant who lead us to wilderness therapy. It was very expensive ( I want to estimate around $400 a day) and insurance did not cover it. He was there for 3 months. He was able to disconnect from all the things that were causing him so much stress and our family was able to get a break from the chaos. It was not punitive at all. The entire mood there was one of support and encouragement all while working very very hard on yourself in tough conditions. Tough as in getting up with the sun, quick showers(if at all), sleeping in tents, sitting by the campfire sharing , cooking your own food, hiking and hiking and hiking. He did school while he was there and without a doubt was instrumental in him being able to graduate from hs 2 1/2 years later. He actually talks fondly of his time there. He made friends (although they were instructed not to keep in touch) and worked very hard on himself. His now therapist told me if may have saved his life. Many if not most of the kids are recommended that they go to therapeutic boarding school once they complete wilderness therapy. We did not do that and perhaps we should have. </p><p></p><p>I do not think it was the magic answer because he continued to struggle when he came home. I look at it as a piece of the whole big journey that we continue on with our son. We all learned a lot about how to cope and it began a healing process for all of us. My son is now almost 20 and is doing very well. </p><p></p><p>A book I recommend that gives a really good glimpse into what wilderness therapy is like is <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/295058.Shouting_at_the_Sky" target="_blank">Shouting at the Sky: Troubled Teens and the Promise of the Wild </a>by Gary Ferguson. </p><p></p><p>If you decide to go that route, do your research on finding a place that you trust. There are some really good places and some that I would steer clear of. An educational consultant is a good place to start. Good luck to you and your family. I know how hard and lonely it is going through this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="startingfresh, post: 746919, member: 22380"] Julie65, I would have described my son at 15 very much like you describe your daughter. Because of his inability to control his temper and moods, we lived in chaos. However, he managed in regular classes, excelling in sports, having friends all the while acting calm and normal. Yet at home, he was a completely different person. It was as if he let it all out at home, all the pent up anxiety and frustration. Once he hit 15, things got very bad. I think he found weed around this time to self medicate. His risk taking behavior and unwillingness to attend in school or even attend school was the breaking point for us. We met with an educational consultant who lead us to wilderness therapy. It was very expensive ( I want to estimate around $400 a day) and insurance did not cover it. He was there for 3 months. He was able to disconnect from all the things that were causing him so much stress and our family was able to get a break from the chaos. It was not punitive at all. The entire mood there was one of support and encouragement all while working very very hard on yourself in tough conditions. Tough as in getting up with the sun, quick showers(if at all), sleeping in tents, sitting by the campfire sharing , cooking your own food, hiking and hiking and hiking. He did school while he was there and without a doubt was instrumental in him being able to graduate from hs 2 1/2 years later. He actually talks fondly of his time there. He made friends (although they were instructed not to keep in touch) and worked very hard on himself. His now therapist told me if may have saved his life. Many if not most of the kids are recommended that they go to therapeutic boarding school once they complete wilderness therapy. We did not do that and perhaps we should have. I do not think it was the magic answer because he continued to struggle when he came home. I look at it as a piece of the whole big journey that we continue on with our son. We all learned a lot about how to cope and it began a healing process for all of us. My son is now almost 20 and is doing very well. A book I recommend that gives a really good glimpse into what wilderness therapy is like is [URL='https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/295058.Shouting_at_the_Sky']Shouting at the Sky: Troubled Teens and the Promise of the Wild [/URL]by Gary Ferguson. If you decide to go that route, do your research on finding a place that you trust. There are some really good places and some that I would steer clear of. An educational consultant is a good place to start. Good luck to you and your family. I know how hard and lonely it is going through this. [/QUOTE]
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