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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 647783" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Estranged2015, you might want to start your own thread, you've posted on an old one. More folks will see your post if you do.</p><p>I'm sorry you find yourself in the situation you are in. </p><p></p><p>Your son is abusive. It sounds as if you have done a lot for him. It may be time to start to let go. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. Often what our troubled kids want is money, often they are disrespectful or as in your case abusive, often they lie and steal. For us it is a nightmare. </p><p></p><p>We have to learn how to respond differently. We have to be the ones to change, they will likely stay the same. We have to learn to set boundaries. We have to learn to say no. We have to learn to detach and accept what is. No easy task. But, necessary.</p><p></p><p>I hope you have supports in place, therapy, 12 step groups, Families anonymous, Al Anon, whatever feels right for you. This is very difficult to do on our own because we have to go against our natural instincts to love, protect and help them. But, we cannot continue to do that and be able to have our own successful lives because our troubled kids will take us on their roller coaster ride of trauma and drama and hold us hostage with their manipulations if we allow them to.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there Estranged, keep posting, get yourself in supportive environments and begin to put the focus on yourself.......you deserve a full and joyful life.........you deserve to feel safe.........I'm glad you're here........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 647783, member: 13542"] Estranged2015, you might want to start your own thread, you've posted on an old one. More folks will see your post if you do. I'm sorry you find yourself in the situation you are in. Your son is abusive. It sounds as if you have done a lot for him. It may be time to start to let go. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. Often what our troubled kids want is money, often they are disrespectful or as in your case abusive, often they lie and steal. For us it is a nightmare. We have to learn how to respond differently. We have to be the ones to change, they will likely stay the same. We have to learn to set boundaries. We have to learn to say no. We have to learn to detach and accept what is. No easy task. But, necessary. I hope you have supports in place, therapy, 12 step groups, Families anonymous, Al Anon, whatever feels right for you. This is very difficult to do on our own because we have to go against our natural instincts to love, protect and help them. But, we cannot continue to do that and be able to have our own successful lives because our troubled kids will take us on their roller coaster ride of trauma and drama and hold us hostage with their manipulations if we allow them to. Hang in there Estranged, keep posting, get yourself in supportive environments and begin to put the focus on yourself.......you deserve a full and joyful life.........you deserve to feel safe.........I'm glad you're here........ [/QUOTE]
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