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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 648131" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>I also wish to tell you that just as domestic violence applies to your situation - so does your states stalking laws if you ask him to leave you alone because you are afraid of him. </p><p>Some here, like me go no contact with our children (for different reasons - my daughter is a 40 year old sociopath who mentally and emotionally abuses me and would financially abuse me if I wasn't wise to her ways) Others choose, what I learned here - low contact - a space in your relationship where you have limited contact on your terms, often in a public place, and as long as the child is being respectful. </p><p>Since it is only you and your son, and because of the abusive behaviors your son operates with, you MUST find a way to fund both your retirement and someone ELSE to have power of attorney over you later in life should you need it. These types of children can not be trusted to take care of us when we are frail and elderly. I hope this information opens your eyes, and gives you a reason to say NO when your son is either demanding money or trying to pry into you personal financial situation.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry you spent the day in bed overwhelmed but trust me, the tears, the deep and dark emotions are all a natural part of grieving for the child we once thought we had vs the way the reality of what they have become. It will come and go sometimes in waves.............but it is natural to have these kind of emotions when you are letting go of the dysfunctional people in your life. Try to remember that your relationship with your child never ends. What it does do is change. Even people who don't have problematic children often go through grief cycles, mostly called empty nest syndrome. Although you situation is different in the way that your son is problematic, it is the same in that in both situations the parent must let go and let the child go on with their life. And it is also true that you must go on with your life. You have lived many years either in fear or at the beck and call of your child and now it is time for you to move on to having a life of your own. Cry, rage, pity party are all OK. Then DREAM and do whatever your heart tells you to do find the happiness you deserve in your own life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 648131, member: 18366"] I also wish to tell you that just as domestic violence applies to your situation - so does your states stalking laws if you ask him to leave you alone because you are afraid of him. Some here, like me go no contact with our children (for different reasons - my daughter is a 40 year old sociopath who mentally and emotionally abuses me and would financially abuse me if I wasn't wise to her ways) Others choose, what I learned here - low contact - a space in your relationship where you have limited contact on your terms, often in a public place, and as long as the child is being respectful. Since it is only you and your son, and because of the abusive behaviors your son operates with, you MUST find a way to fund both your retirement and someone ELSE to have power of attorney over you later in life should you need it. These types of children can not be trusted to take care of us when we are frail and elderly. I hope this information opens your eyes, and gives you a reason to say NO when your son is either demanding money or trying to pry into you personal financial situation. I am sorry you spent the day in bed overwhelmed but trust me, the tears, the deep and dark emotions are all a natural part of grieving for the child we once thought we had vs the way the reality of what they have become. It will come and go sometimes in waves.............but it is natural to have these kind of emotions when you are letting go of the dysfunctional people in your life. Try to remember that your relationship with your child never ends. What it does do is change. Even people who don't have problematic children often go through grief cycles, mostly called empty nest syndrome. Although you situation is different in the way that your son is problematic, it is the same in that in both situations the parent must let go and let the child go on with their life. And it is also true that you must go on with your life. You have lived many years either in fear or at the beck and call of your child and now it is time for you to move on to having a life of your own. Cry, rage, pity party are all OK. Then DREAM and do whatever your heart tells you to do find the happiness you deserve in your own life. [/QUOTE]
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