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(New Member) This child is going to ruin our family.
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<blockquote data-quote="1 Day At a Time" data-source="post: 265181" data-attributes="member: 3704"><p>Desperate Sister,</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the Board! I'm sorry you had to find us, but this is a wonderful place to learn and find support. You are obviously an awesome sister and a great daughter. I'm very impressed by your message.</p><p></p><p>I'm sad to say that in many ways your message could have been written by my easy child, my eldest. His life has been taken up with the needs and demands of our youngest, our difficult child, for many,many years now. Although we have attempted to keep our time with our easy child sacred and totally separate at times, circumstances have made this very difficult to do. He always "understands", but he holds a lot of feelings about this issue. He was in therapy for a while, and that seemed to help him in many ways.</p><p></p><p>Do you live at home, or are you living away at college? I think the best situation would be for you to have some distance from home. Our easy child has lived away from home for five years now and it has greatly helped him ,and improved his relationship with our difficult child. </p><p></p><p> I think that there is hope for your sister to change somewhat as she matures, but she will always be the person that she is. Our difficult child has "toned down" somewhat as he has gotten older, and his medication helps him tremendously. Most importantly, my husband and I have learned how to work effectively with him. The book , "The Explosive Child" has offered us tremendous help. Our home is much more peaceful now that we have learned more about our difficult child and changed our priorities. None the less, our easy child holds many feelings about difficult child, and really, rightfully so. Much of his life has been turned topsy-turvy due to difficult child's issues.</p><p></p><p>I agree with Stella, it is important for your sister to have her medication. I suppose this could be viewed as a dependency, but it is one that truly has a biological imperative. Many folks take antidepressants throughout their lives, and they make their lives much more bearable. (for themselves and those around them). I liken the need for medications for psychological or neurological issues to the need for insulin for Diabetics. Is that a dependency? Well, yes, but we don't view it the same way because it is a "physical " need. I have no doubt that Science will definitively prove the same about medications for the psychological and neurological issues as well. It helps me to look at it that way.</p><p></p><p>Desperate Sister, you family is truly blessed to have you as a member. But, it sounds like you have taken on a lot of responsibility here and could use some respite yourself.</p><p></p><p>Take care...</p><p></p><p></p><p>Valerie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="1 Day At a Time, post: 265181, member: 3704"] Desperate Sister, Welcome to the Board! I'm sorry you had to find us, but this is a wonderful place to learn and find support. You are obviously an awesome sister and a great daughter. I'm very impressed by your message. I'm sad to say that in many ways your message could have been written by my easy child, my eldest. His life has been taken up with the needs and demands of our youngest, our difficult child, for many,many years now. Although we have attempted to keep our time with our easy child sacred and totally separate at times, circumstances have made this very difficult to do. He always "understands", but he holds a lot of feelings about this issue. He was in therapy for a while, and that seemed to help him in many ways. Do you live at home, or are you living away at college? I think the best situation would be for you to have some distance from home. Our easy child has lived away from home for five years now and it has greatly helped him ,and improved his relationship with our difficult child. I think that there is hope for your sister to change somewhat as she matures, but she will always be the person that she is. Our difficult child has "toned down" somewhat as he has gotten older, and his medication helps him tremendously. Most importantly, my husband and I have learned how to work effectively with him. The book , "The Explosive Child" has offered us tremendous help. Our home is much more peaceful now that we have learned more about our difficult child and changed our priorities. None the less, our easy child holds many feelings about difficult child, and really, rightfully so. Much of his life has been turned topsy-turvy due to difficult child's issues. I agree with Stella, it is important for your sister to have her medication. I suppose this could be viewed as a dependency, but it is one that truly has a biological imperative. Many folks take antidepressants throughout their lives, and they make their lives much more bearable. (for themselves and those around them). I liken the need for medications for psychological or neurological issues to the need for insulin for Diabetics. Is that a dependency? Well, yes, but we don't view it the same way because it is a "physical " need. I have no doubt that Science will definitively prove the same about medications for the psychological and neurological issues as well. It helps me to look at it that way. Desperate Sister, you family is truly blessed to have you as a member. But, it sounds like you have taken on a lot of responsibility here and could use some respite yourself. Take care... Valerie [/QUOTE]
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