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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 101914" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Welcome.</p><p></p><p>From what you describe, this sounds not inconsistent with some form of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). Yes, I do think Asperger's is a possibility. We cannot diagnose here, but I can understand why you feel this is a possible diagnosis to consider.</p><p></p><p>I have experience with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in teens. Not only have I already raised one (and maybe another half, at least) I am now raising another, who also does drama classes with a whole lot more of them.</p><p></p><p>Have a look at the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire on <a href="http://www.childbrain.com" target="_blank">http://www.childbrain.com</a>. It's not diagnostic, but you can print the results and show them to someone.</p><p>And I keep seeing the connection with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) symptoms, and hypermobility! All three of my younger kids are hypermobile, and all have Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) signs too.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 just walked into the room and I read to him your description of your son. difficult child 3 kept saying, "Yeah, that's like me." And finally he said, "Where do they live? If only I could meet him!"</p><p></p><p>Have you read "The Curious Incidence of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon? The main character of that story (it is a narrative, and fiction) is Asperger's (according to the book - I would describe him as fully autistic, due to the history of language delay described). And the book is British, the boy goes to London. The character is the same age as your son. It might be too much to ask your son to read it, but I think you would find it interesting. You will cry, you will laugh. It's like that.</p><p></p><p>The character in that book, Christopher, sounds a lot worse than your son. Same with my difficult child 3 - I think he's worse than your son too. This is good news for you. You CAN help him, but you need to change a few things first.</p><p></p><p>Step 1 - get your hands on a copy of "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids are the pits, especially in their teens when hormones add to the mix. But things could be a heck of a lot worse. There are a lot of good things about Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD).</p><p></p><p>Step 2 - find another label. "Dyspraxia" is only a descriptor, it's not a diagnosis in itself. And a label does not necessarily mean a disability, or an imperfection. A lot of people who are deaf, for example, get very offended if you refer to them as disabled or handicapped. They believe that EVERYBODY ELSE is handicapped for not being taught to sign. It's an advantage, they say, to be immune to loud noises, to be able to work without fear of distraction in a noisy environment. You don't miss what you never had, and sign language is a beautiful way to communicate. You can also carry on a conversation across a crowded room. And if everyone else around you is ignorant of signing, you can get away with being pretty rude as well!</p><p>And it's the same with a lot of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids - this is how they are, they get very angry when people treat them as handicapped. If you ask an autistic adult if they would like to wake up one morning and not be autistic, you would probably be told, "no way". Temple Grandin is a classic example - thanks to her autism, she is capable of some amazing things which form a big part of her livelihood. Yes, there are disadvantages but they are worth it, in her eyes.</p><p></p><p>Step 3 - change your thinking, and his. He is not disabled. He has gifts and amazing capability, but because his brain learns in different ways, he needs to find the best way to work with it so he won't be slowed down. Focus on his talents, and also focus on areas where he needs more practice. For example, difficult child 1 has some issues with short-term memory, and couldn't write an essay to save his life. So we found other ways for him to develop these skills, ways which work for other people too so he wasn't being singled out.</p><p></p><p>The gaming, the insistence on everything following the rules, the sense of entitlement, the superior attitude - yep, it all fits.</p><p>We handle the superior attitude with, "yep. You're right, you ARE superior. But people do not like to think they are not as smart as you, so it's not good manners to keep reminding them. They're not as emotionally strong as you, it upsets them to be reminded of their stupidity."</p><p>(Now WE know he is not THAT emotionally strong; but if you build him up he will begin to feel a lot better about himself).</p><p></p><p>We kept telling our kids, "You are smart. Really, really smart. You have the brains to do this. If you're having trouble, let's find a way to help your brain learn this more efficiently."</p><p></p><p>We explained about autism to difficult child 3 by saying that the brain is like a computer operating system. When you are printing a text file off your computer, it could have come from a Mac, or a easy child. Once it comes off the printer you really can't tell.</p><p>Both types of computer are equally good. PCs can be better at some things, Macs are better at others (such as graphics). But you can do just about anything, on either computer.</p><p>But to make that computer work, they need an operating system to tell the computer in binary, how to do the job. And the operating system for a Mac will not work on a easy child. And vice versa.</p><p>Some people have Mac brains, some have easy child brains. And we never specified who had what sort of brain, the analogy stops there.</p><p></p><p>Some of the smartest, brightest, most talented people in the world are probably Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in some form. Einstein. Bill Gates. Steve Irwin maybe?</p><p></p><p>Here's a link for you - this guy is maybe the best in the world on Asperger's.</p><p><a href="http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/" target="_blank">http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/</a></p><p>Tony says, "From my clinical experience I consider that children and adults with Aspergers Syndrome have a different, not defective, way of thinking."</p><p></p><p>He goes on to say a lot more really good stuff. Read the whole article on the link above.</p><p></p><p>Your son does need to be evaluated, but he does not have to accept a label of disability. He CAN embrace a description of himself as gifted, talented, needing to find a more efficient way to learn and work - but disability can be left out.</p><p>If he were a budding concert pianist, you would be supporting him by driving him to lessons, performances, guarding his health and especially his hands. (and that reminds me - playing piano was recommended for difficult child 3 to help his hypermobility). Find a way to justify any support of him, if only to make it clear you want him to excel in his favourite areas. But the proviso needs to be - he has to find a way to turn his passions into a career path. Maybe IT? Or writing gaming software? Help him find a possible career path and support him in that direction, whichever way he feels he needs to go.</p><p></p><p>And good luck. Keep us posted.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 101914, member: 1991"] Welcome. From what you describe, this sounds not inconsistent with some form of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). Yes, I do think Asperger's is a possibility. We cannot diagnose here, but I can understand why you feel this is a possible diagnosis to consider. I have experience with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in teens. Not only have I already raised one (and maybe another half, at least) I am now raising another, who also does drama classes with a whole lot more of them. Have a look at the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire on [url]http://www.childbrain.com[/url]. It's not diagnostic, but you can print the results and show them to someone. And I keep seeing the connection with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) symptoms, and hypermobility! All three of my younger kids are hypermobile, and all have Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) signs too. difficult child 3 just walked into the room and I read to him your description of your son. difficult child 3 kept saying, "Yeah, that's like me." And finally he said, "Where do they live? If only I could meet him!" Have you read "The Curious Incidence of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon? The main character of that story (it is a narrative, and fiction) is Asperger's (according to the book - I would describe him as fully autistic, due to the history of language delay described). And the book is British, the boy goes to London. The character is the same age as your son. It might be too much to ask your son to read it, but I think you would find it interesting. You will cry, you will laugh. It's like that. The character in that book, Christopher, sounds a lot worse than your son. Same with my difficult child 3 - I think he's worse than your son too. This is good news for you. You CAN help him, but you need to change a few things first. Step 1 - get your hands on a copy of "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids are the pits, especially in their teens when hormones add to the mix. But things could be a heck of a lot worse. There are a lot of good things about Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). Step 2 - find another label. "Dyspraxia" is only a descriptor, it's not a diagnosis in itself. And a label does not necessarily mean a disability, or an imperfection. A lot of people who are deaf, for example, get very offended if you refer to them as disabled or handicapped. They believe that EVERYBODY ELSE is handicapped for not being taught to sign. It's an advantage, they say, to be immune to loud noises, to be able to work without fear of distraction in a noisy environment. You don't miss what you never had, and sign language is a beautiful way to communicate. You can also carry on a conversation across a crowded room. And if everyone else around you is ignorant of signing, you can get away with being pretty rude as well! And it's the same with a lot of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids - this is how they are, they get very angry when people treat them as handicapped. If you ask an autistic adult if they would like to wake up one morning and not be autistic, you would probably be told, "no way". Temple Grandin is a classic example - thanks to her autism, she is capable of some amazing things which form a big part of her livelihood. Yes, there are disadvantages but they are worth it, in her eyes. Step 3 - change your thinking, and his. He is not disabled. He has gifts and amazing capability, but because his brain learns in different ways, he needs to find the best way to work with it so he won't be slowed down. Focus on his talents, and also focus on areas where he needs more practice. For example, difficult child 1 has some issues with short-term memory, and couldn't write an essay to save his life. So we found other ways for him to develop these skills, ways which work for other people too so he wasn't being singled out. The gaming, the insistence on everything following the rules, the sense of entitlement, the superior attitude - yep, it all fits. We handle the superior attitude with, "yep. You're right, you ARE superior. But people do not like to think they are not as smart as you, so it's not good manners to keep reminding them. They're not as emotionally strong as you, it upsets them to be reminded of their stupidity." (Now WE know he is not THAT emotionally strong; but if you build him up he will begin to feel a lot better about himself). We kept telling our kids, "You are smart. Really, really smart. You have the brains to do this. If you're having trouble, let's find a way to help your brain learn this more efficiently." We explained about autism to difficult child 3 by saying that the brain is like a computer operating system. When you are printing a text file off your computer, it could have come from a Mac, or a easy child. Once it comes off the printer you really can't tell. Both types of computer are equally good. PCs can be better at some things, Macs are better at others (such as graphics). But you can do just about anything, on either computer. But to make that computer work, they need an operating system to tell the computer in binary, how to do the job. And the operating system for a Mac will not work on a easy child. And vice versa. Some people have Mac brains, some have easy child brains. And we never specified who had what sort of brain, the analogy stops there. Some of the smartest, brightest, most talented people in the world are probably Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in some form. Einstein. Bill Gates. Steve Irwin maybe? Here's a link for you - this guy is maybe the best in the world on Asperger's. [url]http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/[/url] Tony says, "From my clinical experience I consider that children and adults with Aspergers Syndrome have a different, not defective, way of thinking." He goes on to say a lot more really good stuff. Read the whole article on the link above. Your son does need to be evaluated, but he does not have to accept a label of disability. He CAN embrace a description of himself as gifted, talented, needing to find a more efficient way to learn and work - but disability can be left out. If he were a budding concert pianist, you would be supporting him by driving him to lessons, performances, guarding his health and especially his hands. (and that reminds me - playing piano was recommended for difficult child 3 to help his hypermobility). Find a way to justify any support of him, if only to make it clear you want him to excel in his favourite areas. But the proviso needs to be - he has to find a way to turn his passions into a career path. Maybe IT? Or writing gaming software? Help him find a possible career path and support him in that direction, whichever way he feels he needs to go. And good luck. Keep us posted. Marg [/QUOTE]
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