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<blockquote data-quote="No More Rabbits!" data-source="post: 101930" data-attributes="member: 4369"><p>Hi!</p><p></p><p>No I don't think he is particularly bothered about the friends. He thinks the people he talks to at school are friends, but like I say he doesn't want them to cross over to home....</p><p></p><p>I'm wary of pushing for diagnosis at this moment in time, as he is so very opposed to the idea. I really feel that it could push him over the edge. I've not had a lot of luck soliciting outside help in the past, as difficult child is so insular out of the home. I'm kind of hoping once he is out of school he won't face too many challenges on a daily basis....</p><p></p><p>Most of the techniques and strategies I've used on him have come from reading books, and info online.</p><p></p><p>He has driven his older sister round the twist. She and I have had arguments about him, she refuses to see him as having a problem.</p><p></p><p>She thinks my management of him is indulgent and that he is a 'brat' - apparently I should have slapped him into submission when he was small! (Yeah right, as if!) In fact husband and I were wondering if she was also on the spectrum after some stuff that has happened? Who knows?</p><p></p><p>His other sister is totally on board with me and our self diagnosis. Mostly she manages to deal with him OK. There have been a couple of occassions where this fell down just in the last year or so, including the incident which I spoke about in my first post. He actually ended up punching the wall, and needed to be seen by A&E.</p><p></p><p>There are certain words that you just cannot use to him, otherwise he just flips. Unfortunately they are commonly in useage with teenagers here....she got him on a bad day, post a teacher at his school talking to him about his dyspraxia,she said the wrong thing, and got the full treatment. </p><p></p><p>He said some horrendous, totally unacceptable stuff to her, She left the house and didn't come back for three days (She was with her boyfriend and his parents) He was sat down and told by me, and by husband as a team, that his behaviour was completely unacceptable. That there are certain thing you just CANNOT say to a member of your family (your sister for goodness sake!) His take on the matter initially was that you say horrible things BECAUSE you want to upset them (It's occassions like this when you know you are dealing with someone who doesn't have a grip on reality, and the social niceties) We tried to make him understand that is not the case, there are some things that you CANNOT say to people you love and expect them to take as 'heat of the moment' and forgive instantly.</p><p></p><p>He was sorry, he always is, even if it is hard to spot! I can tell when he has taken something on board. I told him off on Tuesday for another unnaceptable rant, and he was being extra attentive to me last night,he kept coming to find me and touch my head, but it took 24 hours to process.</p><p></p><p>He is tiring to be around that's for sure. I can let a lot wash over me, but it does grind you down. He can be pleasant (leave him to do his thing...) he can co-operate, but his span is limited and any little thing that you say, or do, or that goes wrong, can put him back to misery guts in a trice.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for your response.</p><p></p><p>Regards</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="No More Rabbits!, post: 101930, member: 4369"] Hi! No I don't think he is particularly bothered about the friends. He thinks the people he talks to at school are friends, but like I say he doesn't want them to cross over to home.... I'm wary of pushing for diagnosis at this moment in time, as he is so very opposed to the idea. I really feel that it could push him over the edge. I've not had a lot of luck soliciting outside help in the past, as difficult child is so insular out of the home. I'm kind of hoping once he is out of school he won't face too many challenges on a daily basis.... Most of the techniques and strategies I've used on him have come from reading books, and info online. He has driven his older sister round the twist. She and I have had arguments about him, she refuses to see him as having a problem. She thinks my management of him is indulgent and that he is a 'brat' - apparently I should have slapped him into submission when he was small! (Yeah right, as if!) In fact husband and I were wondering if she was also on the spectrum after some stuff that has happened? Who knows? His other sister is totally on board with me and our self diagnosis. Mostly she manages to deal with him OK. There have been a couple of occassions where this fell down just in the last year or so, including the incident which I spoke about in my first post. He actually ended up punching the wall, and needed to be seen by A&E. There are certain words that you just cannot use to him, otherwise he just flips. Unfortunately they are commonly in useage with teenagers here....she got him on a bad day, post a teacher at his school talking to him about his dyspraxia,she said the wrong thing, and got the full treatment. He said some horrendous, totally unacceptable stuff to her, She left the house and didn't come back for three days (She was with her boyfriend and his parents) He was sat down and told by me, and by husband as a team, that his behaviour was completely unacceptable. That there are certain thing you just CANNOT say to a member of your family (your sister for goodness sake!) His take on the matter initially was that you say horrible things BECAUSE you want to upset them (It's occassions like this when you know you are dealing with someone who doesn't have a grip on reality, and the social niceties) We tried to make him understand that is not the case, there are some things that you CANNOT say to people you love and expect them to take as 'heat of the moment' and forgive instantly. He was sorry, he always is, even if it is hard to spot! I can tell when he has taken something on board. I told him off on Tuesday for another unnaceptable rant, and he was being extra attentive to me last night,he kept coming to find me and touch my head, but it took 24 hours to process. He is tiring to be around that's for sure. I can let a lot wash over me, but it does grind you down. He can be pleasant (leave him to do his thing...) he can co-operate, but his span is limited and any little thing that you say, or do, or that goes wrong, can put him back to misery guts in a trice. Thanks for your response. Regards [/QUOTE]
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