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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 102248" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>The verbal insults and put-downs - we got a note home from difficult child 3's teacher saying that if he persisted in calling the other kids names like "fa**Occupational Therapist (OT) retard" he wouldn't be popular. I wrote back pointing out that she knew our family well and there was only one place where difficult child 3 was learning words like that - at school. And these were the sort of insults kids throw at a kid like difficult child 3 who is 'different'. So she shouldn't blame him for merely repeating what was said to him as an insult. He had no idea what it meant.</p><p></p><p>Kids who get attacked, will learn to attack, often lashing out before they are attacked as a way to protect themselves from being hurt. We worked really hard to teach difficult child 3 pacifism. His best mate (also autistic) has a father who is like an aggressive version of Hulk Hogan, they have taught their son to defend himself. So yes, the boy doesn't get teased as much as difficult child 3 did, but then he also gets into more trouble for being verbally aggressive as well as hitting back when he has been clobbered.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 was quite physically aggressive until we pulled him out of mainstream school. Now he has learned to walk away from conflict and the few problems he has had have perhaps not been as severe as they could have been, since the violence isn't escalated by him physically hitting other kids.</p><p></p><p>With the storming out of the house when upset - difficult child 1 used to do that. We actually used times when he was calm, to show him places he could safely go to be alone and get the anger out of his system. We have a large, leafy tree in the front garden, for example, he used to climb that. In the dark we couldn't see him, and he would stay there until he felt calm enough to cope.</p><p></p><p>It's not easy for them, by any means. But if the progress both of my boys has made is any indication, it does get bteter.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 102248, member: 1991"] The verbal insults and put-downs - we got a note home from difficult child 3's teacher saying that if he persisted in calling the other kids names like "fa**Occupational Therapist (OT) retard" he wouldn't be popular. I wrote back pointing out that she knew our family well and there was only one place where difficult child 3 was learning words like that - at school. And these were the sort of insults kids throw at a kid like difficult child 3 who is 'different'. So she shouldn't blame him for merely repeating what was said to him as an insult. He had no idea what it meant. Kids who get attacked, will learn to attack, often lashing out before they are attacked as a way to protect themselves from being hurt. We worked really hard to teach difficult child 3 pacifism. His best mate (also autistic) has a father who is like an aggressive version of Hulk Hogan, they have taught their son to defend himself. So yes, the boy doesn't get teased as much as difficult child 3 did, but then he also gets into more trouble for being verbally aggressive as well as hitting back when he has been clobbered. difficult child 3 was quite physically aggressive until we pulled him out of mainstream school. Now he has learned to walk away from conflict and the few problems he has had have perhaps not been as severe as they could have been, since the violence isn't escalated by him physically hitting other kids. With the storming out of the house when upset - difficult child 1 used to do that. We actually used times when he was calm, to show him places he could safely go to be alone and get the anger out of his system. We have a large, leafy tree in the front garden, for example, he used to climb that. In the dark we couldn't see him, and he would stay there until he felt calm enough to cope. It's not easy for them, by any means. But if the progress both of my boys has made is any indication, it does get bteter. Marg [/QUOTE]
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