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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 143728" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Good on you, for all you're trying to do. We can help here. Can you get your mother to read all this as well? We have a lot of questions we could ask, which will help us with ideas of what you could try to do.</p><p></p><p>So far, she sounds like all three of my younger kids. Each of them got extremely attached or extremely averse to various objects in infancy/childhood. Also, they need to be handled differently.</p><p></p><p>I grew up with some very old-fashioned ideas in my environment and I also helped raise my sisters' kids when they either stayed with us for long periods, or lived next door. I know how it feels to see a problem, want to help but feel powerless because you're "just a kid". I was able to help one of my nephews get assessed - I was worried he was sub-thyroid, it turned out he had some mild spasticity and learning problems from oxygen starvation at birth. Now I'm wondering if it's not something more. Doctors don't always get it right first time. In fact, they often get it wrong. Most times when they get it wrong, they can come close to getting it right, they just need more time and more observation, as well as input from other health professionals.</p><p></p><p>Your sister doesn't sound spoiled, nor does she sound basically naughty. She's too young to be primarily a naughty child. She also has that reading problem clearly identified and there has to be a reason for that. Spoiling a child and being a bad parent doesn't lead to reading problems.</p><p></p><p>The medications helped, but they caused her other problems. That tells us a lot. If the medications helped but she can't take them, there are other medications. If the medications in general are a problem, there are different teaching techniques.</p><p></p><p>It is also possible that it wasn't the medications causing your sister's depression, it might have been that she was thinking she's a bad kid and can never be good no matter how hard she tries. or she might have been thinking other bad things about herself, because she had to take medications. Somebody might have said something mean to her, for example. It could have been an adult or it could have been another student. Kids at that age can be really cruel. difficult child 3 got called some really bad names which he then used to call other kids (often the same kids). But it was difficult child 3 who got into trouble, and I got a note home telling me to stop difficult child 3 from using such bad words!</p><p></p><p>When you're a parent, or even a sister, of a difficult child some people treat you as if you have the same problems, or as if you've done something wrong. It's not fair, but I try to look at that in a positive way - if I didn't have a difficult child making these people look at me differently, I might take a lot longer to realise just how mean those people are. This way, I find out sooner and can avoid them.</p><p></p><p>There is a good book we recommend on this site (among others) which can help with discipline and behaviour problems, with difficult children. It's called "The Explosive Child" and it's by Ross Greene. You can look it up online and find out more. There is also a lot of discussion about this book in the Early Childhood forum. Get your mother to have a look and maybe see if she can read it, it might help at least at home. But if you read it, don't try it out until you've sorted it out with your mother. If you're not both working as a team with your sister, it can cause problems for the other person. It really helped us a great deal, because difficult child 3 thinks a different way, he needs time to do something he's been asked to do. He had a lot of trouble at school especially with some teachers, and was often sent home or sent to the principal's office.</p><p></p><p>From things you have said, I wonder if she has problems with sensory integration. Kids with this often find certain sounds, smells, feels a problem, or they prefer them. For example difficult child 3 as a baby would only go to sleep if there was a towel in his crib. When older, he would cuddle a trowel to help him calm down. I made him some trousers out of an old towel, he wears them after we've been for a swim and he really likes them.</p><p>His older brother gets upset with me when I wash his clothes because it means they don't smell right any more. He's learned to let me wash them, though, because people like him better if the smell doesn't knock you over when he walks in the door.</p><p>Their sister - hooked on the feeling of fur. She made a fur fabric cover for her school folder and carried the folder everywhere instead of putting it in her bag. </p><p>All of them refuse to wear certain clothes. labels inside clothes can be a problem and I often have to cut them out. It extends into food - difficult child 3 won't eat anything with a creamy texture.</p><p>You can get Sensory Integration Disorder as part of other disorders, including Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) (Pervasive Developmental Disorder). But it's not necessarily bad news - the kids just need to be managed a different way. They learn differently.</p><p>I'm not saying your sister has Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) - we can't diagnose on this site anyway. It takes a long consultation with someone who really is qualified, to make a diagnosis of this and many other things. But it is just one example of what could be causing what you describe.</p><p></p><p>I think your sister needs to see another specialist, people here would recommend a neuropsychologist. If you were in Australia a pediatrician would be a good start, but things work differently in the US. I'm thinking there is a lot more going on with your sister and it sounds like your mother is feeling at the end of her rope. The school sounds like they don't want the bother (perhaps because of that first specialist) but if your sister gets a proper diagnosis of learning problems etc, she should be able to get help from the school, in ways that are legally binding. In other words, the school HAS to help then. </p><p></p><p>There is more information on this in the Special Education forum, too.</p><p></p><p>Keep us posted, let us know how you get on.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 143728, member: 1991"] Good on you, for all you're trying to do. We can help here. Can you get your mother to read all this as well? We have a lot of questions we could ask, which will help us with ideas of what you could try to do. So far, she sounds like all three of my younger kids. Each of them got extremely attached or extremely averse to various objects in infancy/childhood. Also, they need to be handled differently. I grew up with some very old-fashioned ideas in my environment and I also helped raise my sisters' kids when they either stayed with us for long periods, or lived next door. I know how it feels to see a problem, want to help but feel powerless because you're "just a kid". I was able to help one of my nephews get assessed - I was worried he was sub-thyroid, it turned out he had some mild spasticity and learning problems from oxygen starvation at birth. Now I'm wondering if it's not something more. Doctors don't always get it right first time. In fact, they often get it wrong. Most times when they get it wrong, they can come close to getting it right, they just need more time and more observation, as well as input from other health professionals. Your sister doesn't sound spoiled, nor does she sound basically naughty. She's too young to be primarily a naughty child. She also has that reading problem clearly identified and there has to be a reason for that. Spoiling a child and being a bad parent doesn't lead to reading problems. The medications helped, but they caused her other problems. That tells us a lot. If the medications helped but she can't take them, there are other medications. If the medications in general are a problem, there are different teaching techniques. It is also possible that it wasn't the medications causing your sister's depression, it might have been that she was thinking she's a bad kid and can never be good no matter how hard she tries. or she might have been thinking other bad things about herself, because she had to take medications. Somebody might have said something mean to her, for example. It could have been an adult or it could have been another student. Kids at that age can be really cruel. difficult child 3 got called some really bad names which he then used to call other kids (often the same kids). But it was difficult child 3 who got into trouble, and I got a note home telling me to stop difficult child 3 from using such bad words! When you're a parent, or even a sister, of a difficult child some people treat you as if you have the same problems, or as if you've done something wrong. It's not fair, but I try to look at that in a positive way - if I didn't have a difficult child making these people look at me differently, I might take a lot longer to realise just how mean those people are. This way, I find out sooner and can avoid them. There is a good book we recommend on this site (among others) which can help with discipline and behaviour problems, with difficult children. It's called "The Explosive Child" and it's by Ross Greene. You can look it up online and find out more. There is also a lot of discussion about this book in the Early Childhood forum. Get your mother to have a look and maybe see if she can read it, it might help at least at home. But if you read it, don't try it out until you've sorted it out with your mother. If you're not both working as a team with your sister, it can cause problems for the other person. It really helped us a great deal, because difficult child 3 thinks a different way, he needs time to do something he's been asked to do. He had a lot of trouble at school especially with some teachers, and was often sent home or sent to the principal's office. From things you have said, I wonder if she has problems with sensory integration. Kids with this often find certain sounds, smells, feels a problem, or they prefer them. For example difficult child 3 as a baby would only go to sleep if there was a towel in his crib. When older, he would cuddle a trowel to help him calm down. I made him some trousers out of an old towel, he wears them after we've been for a swim and he really likes them. His older brother gets upset with me when I wash his clothes because it means they don't smell right any more. He's learned to let me wash them, though, because people like him better if the smell doesn't knock you over when he walks in the door. Their sister - hooked on the feeling of fur. She made a fur fabric cover for her school folder and carried the folder everywhere instead of putting it in her bag. All of them refuse to wear certain clothes. labels inside clothes can be a problem and I often have to cut them out. It extends into food - difficult child 3 won't eat anything with a creamy texture. You can get Sensory Integration Disorder as part of other disorders, including Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) (Pervasive Developmental Disorder). But it's not necessarily bad news - the kids just need to be managed a different way. They learn differently. I'm not saying your sister has Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) - we can't diagnose on this site anyway. It takes a long consultation with someone who really is qualified, to make a diagnosis of this and many other things. But it is just one example of what could be causing what you describe. I think your sister needs to see another specialist, people here would recommend a neuropsychologist. If you were in Australia a pediatrician would be a good start, but things work differently in the US. I'm thinking there is a lot more going on with your sister and it sounds like your mother is feeling at the end of her rope. The school sounds like they don't want the bother (perhaps because of that first specialist) but if your sister gets a proper diagnosis of learning problems etc, she should be able to get help from the school, in ways that are legally binding. In other words, the school HAS to help then. There is more information on this in the Special Education forum, too. Keep us posted, let us know how you get on. Marg [/QUOTE]
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