Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
New therapist - what to expect?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 482357" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Even if you were bonded and you loved each other, if something medically happened to him (the night terrors/head banging) in the years 0-3, that alone can cause some attachment issue. I read extra things (you have to dig) on kids who have medical conditions that cause attachment problems. Normal cycle: child is in distress/hungry whatever, mom fixes problem as good as she can while comforting etc.... , child then has relief and trust. When a child is in pain or distress, cries out/upset etc.... mom tries to comfort but it doesn't work, nothing works, why trust this person, nothing is fixing this??? It's certainly not that they actually think that, just that the cycle that builds trust is messed with. NO one's fault. Happens to preemies and kids who have serious illnesses (mine had terrible head pain/head banging, seizures, and they thought it was behavior for a while.. a long while/over a year...while he was in foster care (a good one but still he left his parents at 7 months and anyone who has a 7 month old knows they know their parents and are very bonded by that age, that is a huge loss).</p><p></p><p>I think, at least for us, any kid who has such struggles and behaviors may end up with us having problems being too close at times. I feel like there are times I just go into automatic mode to get thru it. </p><p></p><p>It may not be anything so daunting, just that this person is puzzling thru, trying to see IF it is anything to do with his bond to you. Still, does not mean you are not a good mother. Just that this is the way it played out and now you will work on it what ever it is. </p><p></p><p>He has some big challenges. You can do this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 482357, member: 12886"] Even if you were bonded and you loved each other, if something medically happened to him (the night terrors/head banging) in the years 0-3, that alone can cause some attachment issue. I read extra things (you have to dig) on kids who have medical conditions that cause attachment problems. Normal cycle: child is in distress/hungry whatever, mom fixes problem as good as she can while comforting etc.... , child then has relief and trust. When a child is in pain or distress, cries out/upset etc.... mom tries to comfort but it doesn't work, nothing works, why trust this person, nothing is fixing this??? It's certainly not that they actually think that, just that the cycle that builds trust is messed with. NO one's fault. Happens to preemies and kids who have serious illnesses (mine had terrible head pain/head banging, seizures, and they thought it was behavior for a while.. a long while/over a year...while he was in foster care (a good one but still he left his parents at 7 months and anyone who has a 7 month old knows they know their parents and are very bonded by that age, that is a huge loss). I think, at least for us, any kid who has such struggles and behaviors may end up with us having problems being too close at times. I feel like there are times I just go into automatic mode to get thru it. It may not be anything so daunting, just that this person is puzzling thru, trying to see IF it is anything to do with his bond to you. Still, does not mean you are not a good mother. Just that this is the way it played out and now you will work on it what ever it is. He has some big challenges. You can do this. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
New therapist - what to expect?
Top