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New therapist - what to expect?
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 482693" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Jules, I am so sorry, I guess I didn't put together all of the posts you had written but I do remember you said those things before. There ARE specialized people who do know how to help with this kind of attachment challenge. You did nothing wrong. Some do a re-parenting kind of therapy, where the child is cuddled and loved and brought back to the age where they were emotionally disrupted. Sounds extreme, but for many it works (and it is made clear to the child that this is private, no one will ever tell that you are rocking, feeding what ever level you go to) That may not be your cup of tea but there are other things, holding time, (many do not like the rage/holding stuff, but there are kinds of comfort holding etc). My son actually asks me to rock him at times. He just likes it. Never was a therapy activity, he came up with it on his own. </p><p></p><p>We did a kind of therapy called Theraplay. It is not Play Therapy... it is a very specific, video taped, kind of therapy. There are exercises that progress starting at the place where the bonding issues are. Like, my son hurt people. We did back and forth time where we pointed out "owies" on eachother... then rubbed lotion on them or whatever, sometimes put bandaids, etc. Showing how we help each other during hurts. (he was little then, would obviously be adjusted for an older child). Not sure if people still do this, but it was one time I can say we really did see improvement. We did lots of back and forth relationship activities...each time I was given specific words to say , things to do and we reviewed the tapes. very intensive. </p><p></p><p>Though there is not a diagnosis of attachment issues, if you feel this is an area of need, pls make sure you are talking to an expert in this. Much of the info will be on adoption sites because that is where it is common. But every site will describe bio kids who have either the mother with an illness or the child. It is uncontrollable so dont waste time on guilt for that. You couldn't have known and even if you did, pain is pain. distress is distress....there was no way to comfort. That is what is so sad. </p><p></p><p>It might not be THE issue, but if you feel it, then it is important. check out attach-china.org website. there are some good articles and links there. Specific good therapists with books are listed. those books have links to states and then therapists. I wish there were more sites about kids who do not have full blown Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) but still, you can pick and choose what you think applies. There were lots of people who just had clingy kids etc. when I was on it a lot. </p><p></p><p>To me, if you think this is part, it is really hopeful. IF you find someone good in that area of development.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 482693, member: 12886"] Jules, I am so sorry, I guess I didn't put together all of the posts you had written but I do remember you said those things before. There ARE specialized people who do know how to help with this kind of attachment challenge. You did nothing wrong. Some do a re-parenting kind of therapy, where the child is cuddled and loved and brought back to the age where they were emotionally disrupted. Sounds extreme, but for many it works (and it is made clear to the child that this is private, no one will ever tell that you are rocking, feeding what ever level you go to) That may not be your cup of tea but there are other things, holding time, (many do not like the rage/holding stuff, but there are kinds of comfort holding etc). My son actually asks me to rock him at times. He just likes it. Never was a therapy activity, he came up with it on his own. We did a kind of therapy called Theraplay. It is not Play Therapy... it is a very specific, video taped, kind of therapy. There are exercises that progress starting at the place where the bonding issues are. Like, my son hurt people. We did back and forth time where we pointed out "owies" on eachother... then rubbed lotion on them or whatever, sometimes put bandaids, etc. Showing how we help each other during hurts. (he was little then, would obviously be adjusted for an older child). Not sure if people still do this, but it was one time I can say we really did see improvement. We did lots of back and forth relationship activities...each time I was given specific words to say , things to do and we reviewed the tapes. very intensive. Though there is not a diagnosis of attachment issues, if you feel this is an area of need, pls make sure you are talking to an expert in this. Much of the info will be on adoption sites because that is where it is common. But every site will describe bio kids who have either the mother with an illness or the child. It is uncontrollable so dont waste time on guilt for that. You couldn't have known and even if you did, pain is pain. distress is distress....there was no way to comfort. That is what is so sad. It might not be THE issue, but if you feel it, then it is important. check out attach-china.org website. there are some good articles and links there. Specific good therapists with books are listed. those books have links to states and then therapists. I wish there were more sites about kids who do not have full blown Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) but still, you can pick and choose what you think applies. There were lots of people who just had clingy kids etc. when I was on it a lot. To me, if you think this is part, it is really hopeful. IF you find someone good in that area of development. [/QUOTE]
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