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<blockquote data-quote="Roxona" data-source="post: 680009" data-attributes="member: 19076"><p>My son is rarely at home. He doesn't like to be here. I remarried a couple of years ago, and he has never felt comfortable. My husband has five children, but only the youngest two live with us. SS10 is a difficult child and causes a lot of stress in our house. My son doesn't like being around him. When he is here, he's usually quiet, spending the majority of his time in his room. He won't eat meals with us anymore, but will sometimes watch a movie with us after the younger boys have gone to bed. He'll come to talk with me from time to time when he know I'm alone or ask me to come outside or go to my room to talk. He hasn't raged at me since rehab, so I would say that he's okay to live with.</p><p></p><p>He did, however, steal $40 from me recently. I let him use my ATM card to get money for dinner for him and the boys and he decided to double dip. He denied it at first, but I called him on it and he eventually admitted it and said he would pay me back, which he hasn't due to my post above. Nothing has gone missing from the house, but I do feel I have to keep my purse with me or locked up in my room. I had my husband put a key lock on our bedroom door quite a while ago, but it wasn't for my son. It was to keep SS10 out because he kept picking the regular bedroom door lock, so he could get into things in our room.</p><p></p><p>I have read where people are able to "lovingly detach" from their difficult children. I've been trying to do that with my son and SS10, but it's hard for me to follow through. I stay home to keep the house up and help the children with their school work, so I'm primarily the one all of the boys spend time with.</p><p></p><p>How do you successfully "lovingly detach?" How do you accept them for who they are knowing it's going to turn very, very bad for them if they continue with their poor choices and bad behavior?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Roxona, post: 680009, member: 19076"] My son is rarely at home. He doesn't like to be here. I remarried a couple of years ago, and he has never felt comfortable. My husband has five children, but only the youngest two live with us. SS10 is a difficult child and causes a lot of stress in our house. My son doesn't like being around him. When he is here, he's usually quiet, spending the majority of his time in his room. He won't eat meals with us anymore, but will sometimes watch a movie with us after the younger boys have gone to bed. He'll come to talk with me from time to time when he know I'm alone or ask me to come outside or go to my room to talk. He hasn't raged at me since rehab, so I would say that he's okay to live with. He did, however, steal $40 from me recently. I let him use my ATM card to get money for dinner for him and the boys and he decided to double dip. He denied it at first, but I called him on it and he eventually admitted it and said he would pay me back, which he hasn't due to my post above. Nothing has gone missing from the house, but I do feel I have to keep my purse with me or locked up in my room. I had my husband put a key lock on our bedroom door quite a while ago, but it wasn't for my son. It was to keep SS10 out because he kept picking the regular bedroom door lock, so he could get into things in our room. I have read where people are able to "lovingly detach" from their difficult children. I've been trying to do that with my son and SS10, but it's hard for me to follow through. I stay home to keep the house up and help the children with their school work, so I'm primarily the one all of the boys spend time with. How do you successfully "lovingly detach?" How do you accept them for who they are knowing it's going to turn very, very bad for them if they continue with their poor choices and bad behavior? [/QUOTE]
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