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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 143870" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I've got a few concerns about the labels also. It's wrong, but I think you need to educate yourself as much as possible, on medical terminology. I mean, we shouldn't have to do it, but doctors sometimes use medical terms far too loosely and it can mislead us. They don't necessarily intend to mislead us, it's just tat it happens unless we read almost enough to qualify as doctors ourselves!</p><p></p><p>For example, you have been told he's got ADHD with comorbidity. But "comorbid" just means he's got something else in there too. The doctor just hasn't specified exactly what. But he may have, in his conversations with you. Were you talking bipolar at the time?</p><p></p><p>Also, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) needs to be ruled out. It often gets misdiagnosed as BiPolar (BP) (and vice versa) as well as ADHD. Two hours is good, but often not enough on its own to really nail down a diagnosis. You often need other specialists to each put in their oar and together, all the information should point to something more specific.</p><p></p><p>Right now it seems they're playing guessing games with the medications. "Give him this, see if it helps, and that should also give us some guide as to what it is that's wrong with him."</p><p>It may sound crazy, but there are a number of medical conditions which get treated this way routinely, at least by some doctors. </p><p></p><p>Also, check out "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It could give you some practical help NOW in dealing with him. You can also use the same techniques on PCs. Hey, you can even apply it to the immature neighbour!</p><p></p><p>I'm also wondering why his sister is a target - it could be quite simple. She is much older than him, but not old enough to justify (in his eyes) her taking on a parental/disciplinary role. I've seen almost exactly the same thing in our house - difficult child 1 would attack his older sister (took a screwdriver to her once) and they fought at times like Kilkenny cats. And now difficult child 3 gets very upset with easy child 2/difficult child 2, whose sometimes shrill insistence on him doing everything exactly right (by HER definition) annoys me, too, because she's trying to discipline him like a parent and often undermining what I'm trying to do. People looking on could wonder if she is his mother, not me. I suspect your daughter isn't anywhere near as bad as easy child 2/difficult child 2, but it really doesn't take much at all.</p><p></p><p>My Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) son became very aggressive towards people he felt didn't like him or who he felt were not being fair to him. He would use whatever language he picked up, that had previously been directed at him. Generally it was from other kids at school taunting him. So we would hear phrases coming out of difficult child 3 such as "dummy", "retard", and others which the site would definitely censor. They were exactly the sort of labels tat would get thrown at a kid like difficult child 3, who all these kids knew was slow to learn to talk (not all Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids are slow to talk, however).</p><p></p><p>If your son is feeling frustrated and angry, but lacks the social skills to handle it, what you are getting now is the result. And there can be many possible reasons for this, BiPolar (BP) is just one possibility. ADHD is another. Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) is yet one more. And again - many more. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes we look for a specific label and thing, "That explains everything," when it actually doesn't. What we are dealing with, by the time a few years have passed, is no longer the problem they were born with, it's been compounded by the social overlay caused by all the negativity, unpleasantness, aggression, bullying etc that goes on. For every failure, every mistake, every harsh word, there is a negative consequence on the child's behaviour.</p><p></p><p>Please be aware - I am not blaming anyone here. This is just what happens to all of us. We are all a product of our upbringing and our environment. This in turn is affected by what we already brought to the table in our genetic lottery. Think - what was Helen Keller like, before Annie Sullivan came into her life? Again, she was the product of her own nature plus her environment, which was indulgent but directionless. As a result, she was a wild, angry creature. When you can really get inside the head of someone who has problems, you can begin to see why they are angry, frustrated, depressed and therefore lashing out. And when you can se this you stand a better chance of changing the direction of where they are going.</p><p></p><p>The book helps. While you wait for doctors to actually DO something helpful, this is something you can do NOW.</p><p></p><p>There is some discussion of this book in Early Childhood, or you can Google it for more info. There is a sample chapter online. Your library probably has a copy.</p><p></p><p>But you need us. We can help. And remember, we are generally parents just like you, but some of us are a bit further down the road and can share with you our mistakes so you can avoid them where possible.</p><p></p><p>get your husband to lurk/post here too, if he has the time. it can make a huge difference in your communication with each other. And especially with difficult children, you need to be on the same page.</p><p></p><p>Welcome.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 143870, member: 1991"] I've got a few concerns about the labels also. It's wrong, but I think you need to educate yourself as much as possible, on medical terminology. I mean, we shouldn't have to do it, but doctors sometimes use medical terms far too loosely and it can mislead us. They don't necessarily intend to mislead us, it's just tat it happens unless we read almost enough to qualify as doctors ourselves! For example, you have been told he's got ADHD with comorbidity. But "comorbid" just means he's got something else in there too. The doctor just hasn't specified exactly what. But he may have, in his conversations with you. Were you talking bipolar at the time? Also, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) needs to be ruled out. It often gets misdiagnosed as BiPolar (BP) (and vice versa) as well as ADHD. Two hours is good, but often not enough on its own to really nail down a diagnosis. You often need other specialists to each put in their oar and together, all the information should point to something more specific. Right now it seems they're playing guessing games with the medications. "Give him this, see if it helps, and that should also give us some guide as to what it is that's wrong with him." It may sound crazy, but there are a number of medical conditions which get treated this way routinely, at least by some doctors. Also, check out "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It could give you some practical help NOW in dealing with him. You can also use the same techniques on PCs. Hey, you can even apply it to the immature neighbour! I'm also wondering why his sister is a target - it could be quite simple. She is much older than him, but not old enough to justify (in his eyes) her taking on a parental/disciplinary role. I've seen almost exactly the same thing in our house - difficult child 1 would attack his older sister (took a screwdriver to her once) and they fought at times like Kilkenny cats. And now difficult child 3 gets very upset with easy child 2/difficult child 2, whose sometimes shrill insistence on him doing everything exactly right (by HER definition) annoys me, too, because she's trying to discipline him like a parent and often undermining what I'm trying to do. People looking on could wonder if she is his mother, not me. I suspect your daughter isn't anywhere near as bad as easy child 2/difficult child 2, but it really doesn't take much at all. My Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) son became very aggressive towards people he felt didn't like him or who he felt were not being fair to him. He would use whatever language he picked up, that had previously been directed at him. Generally it was from other kids at school taunting him. So we would hear phrases coming out of difficult child 3 such as "dummy", "retard", and others which the site would definitely censor. They were exactly the sort of labels tat would get thrown at a kid like difficult child 3, who all these kids knew was slow to learn to talk (not all Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids are slow to talk, however). If your son is feeling frustrated and angry, but lacks the social skills to handle it, what you are getting now is the result. And there can be many possible reasons for this, BiPolar (BP) is just one possibility. ADHD is another. Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) is yet one more. And again - many more. Sometimes we look for a specific label and thing, "That explains everything," when it actually doesn't. What we are dealing with, by the time a few years have passed, is no longer the problem they were born with, it's been compounded by the social overlay caused by all the negativity, unpleasantness, aggression, bullying etc that goes on. For every failure, every mistake, every harsh word, there is a negative consequence on the child's behaviour. Please be aware - I am not blaming anyone here. This is just what happens to all of us. We are all a product of our upbringing and our environment. This in turn is affected by what we already brought to the table in our genetic lottery. Think - what was Helen Keller like, before Annie Sullivan came into her life? Again, she was the product of her own nature plus her environment, which was indulgent but directionless. As a result, she was a wild, angry creature. When you can really get inside the head of someone who has problems, you can begin to see why they are angry, frustrated, depressed and therefore lashing out. And when you can se this you stand a better chance of changing the direction of where they are going. The book helps. While you wait for doctors to actually DO something helpful, this is something you can do NOW. There is some discussion of this book in Early Childhood, or you can Google it for more info. There is a sample chapter online. Your library probably has a copy. But you need us. We can help. And remember, we are generally parents just like you, but some of us are a bit further down the road and can share with you our mistakes so you can avoid them where possible. get your husband to lurk/post here too, if he has the time. it can make a huge difference in your communication with each other. And especially with difficult children, you need to be on the same page. Welcome. Marg [/QUOTE]
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