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New to Forum/difficult child home from inpatient tonight
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 333069" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Welcome!</p><p> </p><p>It does sound like you have a long road to follow that will have lots of ups and downs and twists and turns.</p><p> </p><p>My 1st advise is STRUCTURE. Find out what the bedtime routine was at the hospital and implement that tonight. When my difficult child came home from a two week hospital stay, he had just turned 11 years old and confided in me that he was "a little homesick of the hospital". The strict bedtime routine gave him a sense of security. We did not keep it as strict as the hospital has it, but for a quite a few nights that tight schedule made transitioning to home easier. It will loosen up naturally.</p><p> </p><p>Then, set a Structured morning routine. Your difficult child can help make a picture poster board of each thing. Help him find pictures in catalogs and write up your morning - get up, bathroom, brush teeth, get dressed, breakfast - in whatever order is best for your home. Give him daily rewards in following the routine without refusal. </p><p> </p><p>In this day and age, a daytime routine seems so hard to adhere to but if you can find one I think you will that it will also help. It is the hardest for me to do because I hate structure - I hate doing the same thing over and over and knowing that each day will be the same. However, many kids thrive on it - it keeps them from getting too overwhelmed with life - they have a hard time with surprises, new things, transitions, ect.</p><p> </p><p>Be as positive as possible with instructions. Kids pick up negativity even when it is not intended. Instead of saying, "Please get dressed" try "We have to leave in a few minutes, do you have enough time to get ready?" or "Put your toys away" try "Once your toys are picked up, you can watch that movie." </p><p> </p><p>Anytime your child senses something negative, he will try to push it into a power struggle. Keep your focus on the situation and not how it is making YOU feel. Do not acknowledge your frustration or anger to your child. That is something you can bring and vent to us - we so much understand!</p><p> </p><p>Let your child know how much you love it when he is doing a good job at anything - no matter how small it is. Let him know when something he did has helped. "This morning went so well. You are very good at getting dressed by yourself" "I loved having you help me with breakfast. You made a great choice of having pancakes."</p><p> </p><p>For rewards - Tend to stay away from food unless it is a choice of a snack or meal (you provide the appropriate two things to choose from). Time with you is the very best - when bedtime goes well, an extra book read. If the morning goes well, a walk on nice days, a quick game when you have to be inside. Make the walks an adventure - have a theme for each time like, "Today we are going to count the mailboxes."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 333069, member: 5096"] Welcome! It does sound like you have a long road to follow that will have lots of ups and downs and twists and turns. My 1st advise is STRUCTURE. Find out what the bedtime routine was at the hospital and implement that tonight. When my difficult child came home from a two week hospital stay, he had just turned 11 years old and confided in me that he was "a little homesick of the hospital". The strict bedtime routine gave him a sense of security. We did not keep it as strict as the hospital has it, but for a quite a few nights that tight schedule made transitioning to home easier. It will loosen up naturally. Then, set a Structured morning routine. Your difficult child can help make a picture poster board of each thing. Help him find pictures in catalogs and write up your morning - get up, bathroom, brush teeth, get dressed, breakfast - in whatever order is best for your home. Give him daily rewards in following the routine without refusal. In this day and age, a daytime routine seems so hard to adhere to but if you can find one I think you will that it will also help. It is the hardest for me to do because I hate structure - I hate doing the same thing over and over and knowing that each day will be the same. However, many kids thrive on it - it keeps them from getting too overwhelmed with life - they have a hard time with surprises, new things, transitions, ect. Be as positive as possible with instructions. Kids pick up negativity even when it is not intended. Instead of saying, "Please get dressed" try "We have to leave in a few minutes, do you have enough time to get ready?" or "Put your toys away" try "Once your toys are picked up, you can watch that movie." Anytime your child senses something negative, he will try to push it into a power struggle. Keep your focus on the situation and not how it is making YOU feel. Do not acknowledge your frustration or anger to your child. That is something you can bring and vent to us - we so much understand! Let your child know how much you love it when he is doing a good job at anything - no matter how small it is. Let him know when something he did has helped. "This morning went so well. You are very good at getting dressed by yourself" "I loved having you help me with breakfast. You made a great choice of having pancakes." For rewards - Tend to stay away from food unless it is a choice of a snack or meal (you provide the appropriate two things to choose from). Time with you is the very best - when bedtime goes well, an extra book read. If the morning goes well, a walk on nice days, a quick game when you have to be inside. Make the walks an adventure - have a theme for each time like, "Today we are going to count the mailboxes." [/QUOTE]
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