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Parent Emeritus
New to Forum, Looking for Support for adult child stealing and taking advantage of us
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 593023" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Hi rtj and welcome to the board. Sorry you had to meet us under such circumstances.</p><p></p><p>One thing I really want to say is dont threaten anything in anger you are never willing to back up 100% or your adult child will realize you dont mean anything you say. That is a horrible position to be in. I learned that the hard way. My kid was one who would take advantage of trying anything hoping that eventually he could wear us down. Remember when they were little and we told them not to touch the stove because it was hot? Well mine would keep touching it and getting burned until the one day he touched it and it wasnt hot so he took that to mean that it was worth trying because there was a chance that it wouldnt be hot. He used that thinking in most everything he did in life. Sure there were risks involved but would he get caught every time? No? Okay...risk was worth it. </p><p></p><p>He did steal from us many times over the years and I let the petty little things go which now I think was a big mistake. I waited until he stole a large amount of money from me when he was 21 and I charged him. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do but it was the best thing I ever did. It pulled him up short and he had to finally realize that the courts werent just going to give him a slap on the hand and let him go. He actually had consequences. Ever since then he has started to grow up. He is now almost 27 and doing quite well.</p><p></p><p>Only you can decide how you want to handle things. Kicking a kid out is a hard thing to do. We didnt even kick my son out when he stole from us but that was a unique situation based on where we live and the fact that he was on house arrest based in our home.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 593023, member: 1514"] Hi rtj and welcome to the board. Sorry you had to meet us under such circumstances. One thing I really want to say is dont threaten anything in anger you are never willing to back up 100% or your adult child will realize you dont mean anything you say. That is a horrible position to be in. I learned that the hard way. My kid was one who would take advantage of trying anything hoping that eventually he could wear us down. Remember when they were little and we told them not to touch the stove because it was hot? Well mine would keep touching it and getting burned until the one day he touched it and it wasnt hot so he took that to mean that it was worth trying because there was a chance that it wouldnt be hot. He used that thinking in most everything he did in life. Sure there were risks involved but would he get caught every time? No? Okay...risk was worth it. He did steal from us many times over the years and I let the petty little things go which now I think was a big mistake. I waited until he stole a large amount of money from me when he was 21 and I charged him. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do but it was the best thing I ever did. It pulled him up short and he had to finally realize that the courts werent just going to give him a slap on the hand and let him go. He actually had consequences. Ever since then he has started to grow up. He is now almost 27 and doing quite well. Only you can decide how you want to handle things. Kicking a kid out is a hard thing to do. We didnt even kick my son out when he stole from us but that was a unique situation based on where we live and the fact that he was on house arrest based in our home. [/QUOTE]
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New to Forum, Looking for Support for adult child stealing and taking advantage of us
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