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New to Forum, Looking for Support for adult child stealing and taking advantage of us
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 593118" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>Several of the books I have read say we have an epidemic of entitled young adults. in my opinion, it's true. I see so much of it in families around me (and in mine). We all want to help our children to have a great life and some are completely taking advantage of us.</p><p></p><p>I have a totally difficult child sister that doesn't drink or do drugs, she is very involved in her church. She is not a dependable person at all. She seems to only think of herself and lives for the moment with no concern about how she is going to support herself. One other sister is supporting her while she trains for a new job. In the last 6 months she was fired from one job and got mad and quit another. </p><p></p><p>Now, I know without a doubt my 34yo difficult child uses drugs and abuses alcohol, and that takes their gfgdom to a whole new level. I was financing their parties and concert trips because they were lying to me and I fell for it. I was told he needed money for food to finish the semester and he was homeless, for months he created this lie and I'm jumping through hoops to help him AND IT WAS ALL A BIG FAT LIE! I'm finally fed up with being lied to, manipulated, and treated with disrespect.</p><p></p><p>I read recently that Bundy's mother believed her son was innocent until the very day he made his confession. It is extremely hard for parent to see their children as anything but good and we (most parents anyway) keep trying to give them one more chance. My son was clean and sober for over a year and I actually liked him. He relapsed and he is worse than he was before. He is also a follower and the girl (about 38) he is in a relationship with tells him if I really loved him I would be supporting him *in his time of need*.</p><p></p><p>I started detaching and as I stepped back I began to see a clearer picture. When we can take the emotion away our judgemnt is not as clouded. The fact that mine appears to only love me when I send money with no questions asked hurts. </p><p></p><p>It's so very hard to do, but learn to detach, and let them live their own lives. Mine has gone NC with me when he did realize I was serious about NO more money or anything. Helping them is a whole different topic than letting them steal from us. Hang in there!!</p><p>(((huggs we all know how hard it is, I never in a million years believed I would have a child like this)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 593118, member: 13558"] Several of the books I have read say we have an epidemic of entitled young adults. in my opinion, it's true. I see so much of it in families around me (and in mine). We all want to help our children to have a great life and some are completely taking advantage of us. I have a totally difficult child sister that doesn't drink or do drugs, she is very involved in her church. She is not a dependable person at all. She seems to only think of herself and lives for the moment with no concern about how she is going to support herself. One other sister is supporting her while she trains for a new job. In the last 6 months she was fired from one job and got mad and quit another. Now, I know without a doubt my 34yo difficult child uses drugs and abuses alcohol, and that takes their gfgdom to a whole new level. I was financing their parties and concert trips because they were lying to me and I fell for it. I was told he needed money for food to finish the semester and he was homeless, for months he created this lie and I'm jumping through hoops to help him AND IT WAS ALL A BIG FAT LIE! I'm finally fed up with being lied to, manipulated, and treated with disrespect. I read recently that Bundy's mother believed her son was innocent until the very day he made his confession. It is extremely hard for parent to see their children as anything but good and we (most parents anyway) keep trying to give them one more chance. My son was clean and sober for over a year and I actually liked him. He relapsed and he is worse than he was before. He is also a follower and the girl (about 38) he is in a relationship with tells him if I really loved him I would be supporting him *in his time of need*. I started detaching and as I stepped back I began to see a clearer picture. When we can take the emotion away our judgemnt is not as clouded. The fact that mine appears to only love me when I send money with no questions asked hurts. It's so very hard to do, but learn to detach, and let them live their own lives. Mine has gone NC with me when he did realize I was serious about NO more money or anything. Helping them is a whole different topic than letting them steal from us. Hang in there!! (((huggs we all know how hard it is, I never in a million years believed I would have a child like this))) [/QUOTE]
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