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New to Forum, Looking for Support for adult child stealing and taking advantage of us
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<blockquote data-quote="roughtimejules" data-source="post: 593124" data-attributes="member: 16282"><p>Hello and thanks for all the kind and supportive words. No I've never seen or smelled or caught my daughter using drugs. She says she isn't and wouldn't. She has drank alcohol before but says she's not anymore. Right now she's here each night without access to any substance. I sincerely hope she isn't, she's just selfish and feels entitled.</p><p></p><p>She has always been difficult to wake up. High school was torture, college was even worse. She's a night owl, always has been. I told myself I wasn't going to get her up each day to be to work on time but found myself checking on her and getting her up today. She was still 15 minutes late for work. I've talked to her about finding a night job as she seems to be more alert and maybe that's the way her body is. But she doesn't seem to want to look very hard and since she has this opportunity to work at her Dad's office she's taking it (I know that it won't last if she can't be on time, they'll fire her). I'm considering asking her if she needs me to wake her up every day to be on time, if she wants me to do that, or if I should let her be and let the chips fall where they may. I'll let her decide, and ask how she feels about it. I'm sure she feels badly about herself when I wake her up, I'm not nice about it. </p><p></p><p>She is taking medication for her depression and should be taking ADD medications but I'm not sure about that. I haven't seen them although I gave her money to buy them...I asked for a receipt but haven't seen one. I'm just tired of the lying so I stopped asking. She's wearing me out.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, my husband and I will be discussing all of this on a continual basis. We're trying to come together as a united front and we're determined to not let her ruin us or the family.</p><p></p><p>One more update is that our therapist suggested our difficult child take a financial education course through a free foundation in the city. I've signed her up for the course which is 8 hours over 2 Saturday mornings. There will be no more "but I didn't know that would happen". It's time she understands how the world works and makes a plan for her future. Hopefully she'll take something from the class and make some goals.</p><p></p><p>44 year old Mom of 3, an enabling parent trying to learn tough love <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="roughtimejules, post: 593124, member: 16282"] Hello and thanks for all the kind and supportive words. No I've never seen or smelled or caught my daughter using drugs. She says she isn't and wouldn't. She has drank alcohol before but says she's not anymore. Right now she's here each night without access to any substance. I sincerely hope she isn't, she's just selfish and feels entitled. She has always been difficult to wake up. High school was torture, college was even worse. She's a night owl, always has been. I told myself I wasn't going to get her up each day to be to work on time but found myself checking on her and getting her up today. She was still 15 minutes late for work. I've talked to her about finding a night job as she seems to be more alert and maybe that's the way her body is. But she doesn't seem to want to look very hard and since she has this opportunity to work at her Dad's office she's taking it (I know that it won't last if she can't be on time, they'll fire her). I'm considering asking her if she needs me to wake her up every day to be on time, if she wants me to do that, or if I should let her be and let the chips fall where they may. I'll let her decide, and ask how she feels about it. I'm sure she feels badly about herself when I wake her up, I'm not nice about it. She is taking medication for her depression and should be taking ADD medications but I'm not sure about that. I haven't seen them although I gave her money to buy them...I asked for a receipt but haven't seen one. I'm just tired of the lying so I stopped asking. She's wearing me out. Anyway, my husband and I will be discussing all of this on a continual basis. We're trying to come together as a united front and we're determined to not let her ruin us or the family. One more update is that our therapist suggested our difficult child take a financial education course through a free foundation in the city. I've signed her up for the course which is 8 hours over 2 Saturday mornings. There will be no more "but I didn't know that would happen". It's time she understands how the world works and makes a plan for her future. Hopefully she'll take something from the class and make some goals. 44 year old Mom of 3, an enabling parent trying to learn tough love :) [/QUOTE]
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