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Parent Emeritus
New to Group - Kicked out our 19 year old son (only child) today
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 556798" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Welcome to the board BKS. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>I'm glad you found us. </p><p></p><p>If your son is battling addiction, then it is somewhat easier to view him as a different person. Addiction changes the personality of the person so radically over time that it can be really hard to grasp even when you're watching it happen. It doesn't take a whole lot of time, either, in many cases. That varies from person to person. Some can hide addiction rather well for many years, others plunge headlong into it nearly right from the beginning. Either way the mind set is the same. Their universe revolves around the drug (or alcohol). All they truly focus on is getting the drug, using the drug, how to get the drug again, ect. It's a never ending cycle. And they will do anything, say anything not to break that cycle. Everything comes in second to the drug. <strong>Everything</strong>. </p><p></p><p>I'm glad you found a support meeting. It is a great help to speak with others going through the same thing. </p><p></p><p>Here on the PE board we learn and practice detachment. We can't "fix" our kids. We can't force them to help themselves. All we can do is do our best not to enable or encourage self destructive behavior. set our own boundaries for what behavior we will and will not tolerate, and learn to go on with our lives separate from the drama and chaos. It is a process that takes time and practice. </p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 556798, member: 84"] Welcome to the board BKS. :) I'm glad you found us. If your son is battling addiction, then it is somewhat easier to view him as a different person. Addiction changes the personality of the person so radically over time that it can be really hard to grasp even when you're watching it happen. It doesn't take a whole lot of time, either, in many cases. That varies from person to person. Some can hide addiction rather well for many years, others plunge headlong into it nearly right from the beginning. Either way the mind set is the same. Their universe revolves around the drug (or alcohol). All they truly focus on is getting the drug, using the drug, how to get the drug again, ect. It's a never ending cycle. And they will do anything, say anything not to break that cycle. Everything comes in second to the drug. [B]Everything[/B]. I'm glad you found a support meeting. It is a great help to speak with others going through the same thing. Here on the PE board we learn and practice detachment. We can't "fix" our kids. We can't force them to help themselves. All we can do is do our best not to enable or encourage self destructive behavior. set our own boundaries for what behavior we will and will not tolerate, and learn to go on with our lives separate from the drama and chaos. It is a process that takes time and practice. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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New to Group - Kicked out our 19 year old son (only child) today
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