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New to site--an ODD house
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<blockquote data-quote="Allan-Matlem" data-source="post: 192548" data-attributes="member: 10"><p>Hi,</p><p></p><p>I am sorry about your child's struggles. in my humble opinion I think an evaluation should also focus on the lacking cognitive skills in attempt to understand the pathways and possible triggers to your child's behavior. see the link to the care givers handout below , also <a href="http://thinkkids.org" target="_blank">http://thinkkids.org</a> - see also the inventory list .</p><p></p><p>I think we should try to relax the atmosphere as much as possible , lower the rope and show the child that through discussion his concerns will be addressed in the best way. The child has to learn to trust an adult and this means plenty of one on one time connecting with the child , sharing perspectives etc starting with non emotive issues , other people's problems and coming up with solutions and trying to to generalise this win-win dynamic into the rest of the day. It means discusion , asking questions rather than telling and explaining, it means getting the kid to think , helping him with the process and providing an environment which is more predictable , less frustrating , doing role play , going back to the drawing board and dealing with matters out of the moment. I encourage mentors , anything that builds relationships , perspective taking and thinking. It is not easy and often we need to be pretty proactive and creative problem solvers</p><p></p><p>Besides the latest edition of the explosive child , I found Myrna Shure's books for eg raising a preteen excellent in helping with problem solving /dialog and scripts. Alfie Kohn's Unconditional parenting has been useful in changing my paradigms which in my humble opinion important in seeing problem solving in the broader context of building trust and relationship.</p><p></p><p>Again it is not easy , it takes time to build trust . I believe that this cannot be done if the child's thinking is purely - what's in it for me = what will i get or what will be domne to me</p><p></p><p>Education is a long process. Medication may help some children to be responsive to your teaching , but it is only part of the plan. I don't find the typical approach of putting kids on medications and treating the symptons with behavior modification appealing.</p><p></p><p>Sending positive thoughts and prayers in your direction</p><p></p><p>Allan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Allan-Matlem, post: 192548, member: 10"] Hi, I am sorry about your child's struggles. in my humble opinion I think an evaluation should also focus on the lacking cognitive skills in attempt to understand the pathways and possible triggers to your child's behavior. see the link to the care givers handout below , also [URL]http://thinkkids.org[/URL] - see also the inventory list . I think we should try to relax the atmosphere as much as possible , lower the rope and show the child that through discussion his concerns will be addressed in the best way. The child has to learn to trust an adult and this means plenty of one on one time connecting with the child , sharing perspectives etc starting with non emotive issues , other people's problems and coming up with solutions and trying to to generalise this win-win dynamic into the rest of the day. It means discusion , asking questions rather than telling and explaining, it means getting the kid to think , helping him with the process and providing an environment which is more predictable , less frustrating , doing role play , going back to the drawing board and dealing with matters out of the moment. I encourage mentors , anything that builds relationships , perspective taking and thinking. It is not easy and often we need to be pretty proactive and creative problem solvers Besides the latest edition of the explosive child , I found Myrna Shure's books for eg raising a preteen excellent in helping with problem solving /dialog and scripts. Alfie Kohn's Unconditional parenting has been useful in changing my paradigms which in my humble opinion important in seeing problem solving in the broader context of building trust and relationship. Again it is not easy , it takes time to build trust . I believe that this cannot be done if the child's thinking is purely - what's in it for me = what will i get or what will be domne to me Education is a long process. Medication may help some children to be responsive to your teaching , but it is only part of the plan. I don't find the typical approach of putting kids on medications and treating the symptons with behavior modification appealing. Sending positive thoughts and prayers in your direction Allan [/QUOTE]
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