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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 494693" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>Hi there, and welcome!</p><p></p><p>You will see this over and over, and it's very true: I am glad you found us, and truly sorry that you needed to.</p><p></p><p>I, too, have stepkids. Let me tell you - kids that have been abused are a whole entity unto themselves. They have special needs that those of us "normal" people just can't even begin to grasp.</p><p></p><p>We'll ask lots of questions. We're not really prying... But for advice purposes... The last thing we want to do is tell you the wrong thing based on assumptions!!!</p><p></p><p>Does your SS have any diagnosis at all? You mentioned that he is 10 - has this been going on for more than a year? The fire setting, cruelty to animals and other stuff is just downright SCARY. His threats, etc. are, too.</p><p></p><p>As far as CPS goes, they can be a royal pain, but let me tell you something - they really, really do not like charging people. They'd rather help. Their help is somewhat lopsided, but can open the door to services being provided. FACT: He has looked inappropriately at his sister - I'm going to guess he's trying to poke around inside her diaper? - and this is a danger to HER. The fact that he admits it is even scarier, to me.</p><p></p><p>You are right about protecting your daughter (we've had to do the same with my stepson). If visitation with biomom is supervised, there's probably a court order. That will be helpful for him, too - when you call CPS.</p><p></p><p>Your therapist sounds like he/she doesn't know CPS all that well. If a child is in danger, and it is reported, and CPS finds that it is another child in the house, and the parents are trying to protect the endangered child, they aren't going to charge you with neglect. They will look at the situation with bio, too. They will try to place him with family, but in this case he is a danger - to others AND himself. Not knowing the whole situation, I cannot say for sure, but I can say simply that you and your husband will have to be insistent, and coherent - a team.</p><p></p><p>I question the value of a hospitalization scenario where they allow violent video games at all. Mario Kart, maybe. But are we talking Call of Duty or Halo? Grand Theft Auto?</p><p></p><p>If your husband is on the same page, he can do what mine did - and others on this board - and refuse to bring him home. Of course, we also called CPS ourselves, and begged for help (they were called about an incident, and we took that ball and RAN with it). We've jumped through a LOT of hoops. Onyxx is now in a behavioral Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and honeymooning... We're already seeing signs of her M.O. popping up again, but this one's court ordered, and we actually have a chance now, where before it was living in lockdown, cell phone and keys at the ready... ALL THE TIME.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /> Sorry that wasn't supposed to get so long, but you sounded very worried about your little girl AND your stepson... You're right, he needs help.</p><p></p><p>Again, welcome!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 494693, member: 6705"] Hi there, and welcome! You will see this over and over, and it's very true: I am glad you found us, and truly sorry that you needed to. I, too, have stepkids. Let me tell you - kids that have been abused are a whole entity unto themselves. They have special needs that those of us "normal" people just can't even begin to grasp. We'll ask lots of questions. We're not really prying... But for advice purposes... The last thing we want to do is tell you the wrong thing based on assumptions!!! Does your SS have any diagnosis at all? You mentioned that he is 10 - has this been going on for more than a year? The fire setting, cruelty to animals and other stuff is just downright SCARY. His threats, etc. are, too. As far as CPS goes, they can be a royal pain, but let me tell you something - they really, really do not like charging people. They'd rather help. Their help is somewhat lopsided, but can open the door to services being provided. FACT: He has looked inappropriately at his sister - I'm going to guess he's trying to poke around inside her diaper? - and this is a danger to HER. The fact that he admits it is even scarier, to me. You are right about protecting your daughter (we've had to do the same with my stepson). If visitation with biomom is supervised, there's probably a court order. That will be helpful for him, too - when you call CPS. Your therapist sounds like he/she doesn't know CPS all that well. If a child is in danger, and it is reported, and CPS finds that it is another child in the house, and the parents are trying to protect the endangered child, they aren't going to charge you with neglect. They will look at the situation with bio, too. They will try to place him with family, but in this case he is a danger - to others AND himself. Not knowing the whole situation, I cannot say for sure, but I can say simply that you and your husband will have to be insistent, and coherent - a team. I question the value of a hospitalization scenario where they allow violent video games at all. Mario Kart, maybe. But are we talking Call of Duty or Halo? Grand Theft Auto? If your husband is on the same page, he can do what mine did - and others on this board - and refuse to bring him home. Of course, we also called CPS ourselves, and begged for help (they were called about an incident, and we took that ball and RAN with it). We've jumped through a LOT of hoops. Onyxx is now in a behavioral Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and honeymooning... We're already seeing signs of her M.O. popping up again, but this one's court ordered, and we actually have a chance now, where before it was living in lockdown, cell phone and keys at the ready... ALL THE TIME. :hugs: Sorry that wasn't supposed to get so long, but you sounded very worried about your little girl AND your stepson... You're right, he needs help. Again, welcome! [/QUOTE]
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