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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 495109" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hi, I know it is hard to hear from professionals that this or that will not help. Here is the thing with attachment stuff.... There are very few professionals trained to work with it. I had a student who was newly adopted by a single dad and was in K. he could not join a group and hoarded and hit and kicked and I mentioned attachment disorder given his institutional upbringing and you kow what the psychiatric and social worker said??? OH NO , he loves his new dad. I saw when they came in he jumped on his dad's lap and hugged him. THey totally dismissed that dad said at home it is all on his terms, that he ruins things, that he is fake in front of others etc..... These people got ANGRY with me for giving them literature on this and trying to explain. Years later, this kid had no help and you can only imagine what all he was into. It is very sad that people THINK they know what to do just because they know about normal attachment and bonding. When it is really Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) even at teh lower end of the spectrum, it takes a very specialized therapist. many of those sites listed under Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) will have sections that lead you to referrals in your state. If you even found ONE other parent from those sites who has lived by you and knows of someone who is aware of attachment disorders you could get some referrals. </p><p></p><p>If that is not possible, as is said, this not only is about the safety of others, but he will have the additional burden of living with what he has done...or will do. My son when very little was told by my sister (after a sleep over and before medications...I would NEVER have allowed this but she didn't think) that he could play with my nieces hamster. He went and got it and when it moved in his hand he panicked and threw it. It hit the wall. SO, he got the other one... this one landed on the floor. Later they both died. He had no idea why they died and that they would but he kept saying they were scary and he threw them.... (he was very young, had limited language at the time). He to this day remembers that and feels terrible. I feel awful I didn't think to tell my sister dont do anything till medications are on board and of course I just never thought about the hamsters because we had a dog and it was not as vulnerable. Poor animals and poor Q. </p><p></p><p>You have a tough situation and it will take a long time to sort thru what to do but whatever you do, even if you are stuck and just have to manage, we do understand and only offer ideas in case it helps. Sometimes we are liimited in our choices and I have been in that place. Am still for some things. You are not alone and please at least vent and share frustrations here so you can get some relief for yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 495109, member: 12886"] Hi, I know it is hard to hear from professionals that this or that will not help. Here is the thing with attachment stuff.... There are very few professionals trained to work with it. I had a student who was newly adopted by a single dad and was in K. he could not join a group and hoarded and hit and kicked and I mentioned attachment disorder given his institutional upbringing and you kow what the psychiatric and social worker said??? OH NO , he loves his new dad. I saw when they came in he jumped on his dad's lap and hugged him. THey totally dismissed that dad said at home it is all on his terms, that he ruins things, that he is fake in front of others etc..... These people got ANGRY with me for giving them literature on this and trying to explain. Years later, this kid had no help and you can only imagine what all he was into. It is very sad that people THINK they know what to do just because they know about normal attachment and bonding. When it is really Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) even at teh lower end of the spectrum, it takes a very specialized therapist. many of those sites listed under Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) will have sections that lead you to referrals in your state. If you even found ONE other parent from those sites who has lived by you and knows of someone who is aware of attachment disorders you could get some referrals. If that is not possible, as is said, this not only is about the safety of others, but he will have the additional burden of living with what he has done...or will do. My son when very little was told by my sister (after a sleep over and before medications...I would NEVER have allowed this but she didn't think) that he could play with my nieces hamster. He went and got it and when it moved in his hand he panicked and threw it. It hit the wall. SO, he got the other one... this one landed on the floor. Later they both died. He had no idea why they died and that they would but he kept saying they were scary and he threw them.... (he was very young, had limited language at the time). He to this day remembers that and feels terrible. I feel awful I didn't think to tell my sister dont do anything till medications are on board and of course I just never thought about the hamsters because we had a dog and it was not as vulnerable. Poor animals and poor Q. You have a tough situation and it will take a long time to sort thru what to do but whatever you do, even if you are stuck and just have to manage, we do understand and only offer ideas in case it helps. Sometimes we are liimited in our choices and I have been in that place. Am still for some things. You are not alone and please at least vent and share frustrations here so you can get some relief for yourself. [/QUOTE]
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