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<blockquote data-quote="nerfherder" data-source="post: 637454" data-attributes="member: 15907"><p>Heya!</p><p></p><p>For what it's worth, there's a fabulous tool I learned from my Cousin R in Memphis when I was a teen.</p><p></p><p>(how did an Eastern European concentration camp survivor end up raising his family in Memphis? Loooong story. And if I tell you how we found 'em, that'd "out" my identity.)</p><p></p><p>R is the most amazing woman, the family historian, even named for my mom who her dad thought died in the camps. (Eastern European Jews, the Ashkenazim, name their children after dead relatives. On the other hand the Sephardim, the ones from around the Mediterranian, name their children for living relatives.)</p><p></p><p>Anyway. About that tool. When R (and every other Southern Woman I have known) is forced to deal with a jerk of one kind or another, they smile and in that "special" tone of voice, say "Bless your heart." And you can tell just HOW horrid (for those of you unfamiliar with the tool) the person is by how they drag out the words, and how broadly they smile.</p><p></p><p>So, when you get off the phone with your challenging one, don't forget to give it your biggest grin and, taking 15 seconds or more, say "BLESS YOURRR HEARRRRRRRRRRT." </p><p></p><p>(I'm lucky. My daughter is way too developmentally disabled to be consciously, willfully horrid to that level of horridness. But she has a lot of the "not giving a shoot" lack of empathy or boundaries. She just does it all at the functional level of a 4 year old)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nerfherder, post: 637454, member: 15907"] Heya! For what it's worth, there's a fabulous tool I learned from my Cousin R in Memphis when I was a teen. (how did an Eastern European concentration camp survivor end up raising his family in Memphis? Loooong story. And if I tell you how we found 'em, that'd "out" my identity.) R is the most amazing woman, the family historian, even named for my mom who her dad thought died in the camps. (Eastern European Jews, the Ashkenazim, name their children after dead relatives. On the other hand the Sephardim, the ones from around the Mediterranian, name their children for living relatives.) Anyway. About that tool. When R (and every other Southern Woman I have known) is forced to deal with a jerk of one kind or another, they smile and in that "special" tone of voice, say "Bless your heart." And you can tell just HOW horrid (for those of you unfamiliar with the tool) the person is by how they drag out the words, and how broadly they smile. So, when you get off the phone with your challenging one, don't forget to give it your biggest grin and, taking 15 seconds or more, say "BLESS YOURRR HEARRRRRRRRRRT." (I'm lucky. My daughter is way too developmentally disabled to be consciously, willfully horrid to that level of horridness. But she has a lot of the "not giving a shoot" lack of empathy or boundaries. She just does it all at the functional level of a 4 year old) [/QUOTE]
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