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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 181842" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>Welcome threelittles! I'm so glad you found your way here! I must tell you that you seem to have been given a lot of good advice and intervention from the docs who have treated and diagnosis'd your son. Before I go further with some thoughts, I do have some questions about your son. What are the behaviors that particularly worry you about your son? Does he harm or overly bother his siblings? Is he defiant at every turn? Is he particularly clingy to either you or your husband? Or is he the opposite, not appearing to bond with anyone? How about at school, does he have little buddies? Is he constantly in trouble? How is his academic development, is he pretty much in line with the majority of his class? I know he's young, but an experienced k teacher could tell if he is meeting benchmarks.</p><p></p><p>Ok, now that all the questions are out of the way, on to some thoughts!</p><p></p><p>You have your hands full. Your son, by your words, is fortunate to have a mother that is "turning every stone" as you will. You have three young children and focusing on just one can be stressful for the whole family. Normal is not a word we use much around here (oh, up on the top of the board you will see the words "FAQS" - click on that and you will find keys to navigating the site, etc.). Typical is more the word we prefer. What is normal? The way a family is portrayed on TV? A Normal Rockwell painting? What we see from the neighbors down the street (even though we don't know what happens when their front door closes)?</p><p></p><p>Listen, all of us with a difficult child (gift from god - how we describe our challenging children) go through a kind of mourning period. We mourn for the loss of a dream. We thought having this child would be a loving, fufilling experience. None of us were prepared for telephone calls from school, IEP meetings, behavior struggles, doctor's appointments, medication management, etc......</p><p></p><p>But it is what it is. You will come to accept what is your life and manage your son's illness and your other children. Your family is defined, not as measured by your neighbor's yardstick, but the love and committment of it's members. </p><p></p><p>In regards to medications. We do have a Natural Treatment board here on cd.com. You may find some ideas and information there.</p><p></p><p>It's understandable that you are hesitant to begin medications. I was also in the same place when my son was diagnosis'd with adhd/highly impulsive/combined type. I refused to medicate him for a little over a year. I tried behavior mod and changing his diet - those things did not work for us. So, I agreed to try a stimulant. For my son, it made all the difference in the world. From the very first day.....even his handwriting improved! He was less impulsive and much more attentive.</p><p></p><p>I'm not going to tell you that medications are the be all end all. Behavior mod, a great therapist, understanding teachers and administrators, a great IEP, hard work on his part - all of this together made a difference. It didn't all happen overnight - it was a process. </p><p></p><p>In regards to school, check out our Special Education board. I wouldn't suggest not getting your son help to navigate first first grade because you fear he will be labled. The definition of qualifying for accoms and mods according to the law is something that impedes/interferes with his ability to learn. I think you are there. Early intervention in school is the key. You don't want both him and his teachers to become frustrated; you don't want him labled a trouble-maker, you don't want him to come to hate school or be judged by his peers.</p><p></p><p>Putting supports in place at school are vital to his success.</p><p></p><p>Well, I didn't intend to write this long a post, but......</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you are here!</p><p></p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 181842, member: 805"] Welcome threelittles! I'm so glad you found your way here! I must tell you that you seem to have been given a lot of good advice and intervention from the docs who have treated and diagnosis'd your son. Before I go further with some thoughts, I do have some questions about your son. What are the behaviors that particularly worry you about your son? Does he harm or overly bother his siblings? Is he defiant at every turn? Is he particularly clingy to either you or your husband? Or is he the opposite, not appearing to bond with anyone? How about at school, does he have little buddies? Is he constantly in trouble? How is his academic development, is he pretty much in line with the majority of his class? I know he's young, but an experienced k teacher could tell if he is meeting benchmarks. Ok, now that all the questions are out of the way, on to some thoughts! You have your hands full. Your son, by your words, is fortunate to have a mother that is "turning every stone" as you will. You have three young children and focusing on just one can be stressful for the whole family. Normal is not a word we use much around here (oh, up on the top of the board you will see the words "FAQS" - click on that and you will find keys to navigating the site, etc.). Typical is more the word we prefer. What is normal? The way a family is portrayed on TV? A Normal Rockwell painting? What we see from the neighbors down the street (even though we don't know what happens when their front door closes)? Listen, all of us with a difficult child (gift from god - how we describe our challenging children) go through a kind of mourning period. We mourn for the loss of a dream. We thought having this child would be a loving, fufilling experience. None of us were prepared for telephone calls from school, IEP meetings, behavior struggles, doctor's appointments, medication management, etc...... But it is what it is. You will come to accept what is your life and manage your son's illness and your other children. Your family is defined, not as measured by your neighbor's yardstick, but the love and committment of it's members. In regards to medications. We do have a Natural Treatment board here on cd.com. You may find some ideas and information there. It's understandable that you are hesitant to begin medications. I was also in the same place when my son was diagnosis'd with adhd/highly impulsive/combined type. I refused to medicate him for a little over a year. I tried behavior mod and changing his diet - those things did not work for us. So, I agreed to try a stimulant. For my son, it made all the difference in the world. From the very first day.....even his handwriting improved! He was less impulsive and much more attentive. I'm not going to tell you that medications are the be all end all. Behavior mod, a great therapist, understanding teachers and administrators, a great IEP, hard work on his part - all of this together made a difference. It didn't all happen overnight - it was a process. In regards to school, check out our Special Education board. I wouldn't suggest not getting your son help to navigate first first grade because you fear he will be labled. The definition of qualifying for accoms and mods according to the law is something that impedes/interferes with his ability to learn. I think you are there. Early intervention in school is the key. You don't want both him and his teachers to become frustrated; you don't want him labled a trouble-maker, you don't want him to come to hate school or be judged by his peers. Putting supports in place at school are vital to his success. Well, I didn't intend to write this long a post, but...... I'm glad you are here! Sharon [/QUOTE]
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