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General Parenting
New Year, new start
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<blockquote data-quote="HaoZi" data-source="post: 398436"><p>I'd like to add a happy belated birthday to your husband. It was my birthday as well, so I do know how dreadful it can be sometimes to have a birthday that is very busy for everyone and filled with extra anxieties (and often extra lashing-out). </p><p></p><p>I found Greene's book works just fine on younger kids, you just have a lot less A stuff and a lot more B and C stuff. With younger ones you have to coach them more, and use less open-ended questions, instead give them a few ideas that you consider acceptable and let them mull it over once they're rational again. If it makes him uncomfortable, don't force it. Try really hard to remember when you were their age and really wanted something and felt your parents just didn't "get it". Usually something that looking back seems silly, but at the time was really important to you. It was hard to express that to them, wasn't it? And even harder to understand why you couldn't have it. The frustration of not being able to express it properly, added to not getting it, added to not understanding = meltdown. Watch for small signs of frustration and start redirecting before he reaches the point of no return. It may take a while of really observing your child to learn those cues, they can be subtle. It might be a certain tone, a movement or restlessness, chewing on fingernails, staring at the wall... every kid is different.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HaoZi, post: 398436"] I'd like to add a happy belated birthday to your husband. It was my birthday as well, so I do know how dreadful it can be sometimes to have a birthday that is very busy for everyone and filled with extra anxieties (and often extra lashing-out). I found Greene's book works just fine on younger kids, you just have a lot less A stuff and a lot more B and C stuff. With younger ones you have to coach them more, and use less open-ended questions, instead give them a few ideas that you consider acceptable and let them mull it over once they're rational again. If it makes him uncomfortable, don't force it. Try really hard to remember when you were their age and really wanted something and felt your parents just didn't "get it". Usually something that looking back seems silly, but at the time was really important to you. It was hard to express that to them, wasn't it? And even harder to understand why you couldn't have it. The frustration of not being able to express it properly, added to not getting it, added to not understanding = meltdown. Watch for small signs of frustration and start redirecting before he reaches the point of no return. It may take a while of really observing your child to learn those cues, they can be subtle. It might be a certain tone, a movement or restlessness, chewing on fingernails, staring at the wall... every kid is different. [/QUOTE]
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