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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 398800" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Wow, you've been through the wringers! I'm not a lot of help with finding a neuropsychologist, because our health care system in Australia is so different. A starting point for enquiry could be your local children's hospital. Others will have more specific info for you.</p><p></p><p>The surgeries etc - although it's been a rough ride, I don't think it's enough to cause the other problems you describe. Maybe you've just been really unlucky, is all. difficult child 3 had croup really badly starting when he was 2. But we can look back and see signs of his autism from before - he already was significantly delayed in language at 2, for example, and had a hard time putting the nebuliser mask on, he was terrified of it. We had three days in hospital with the first attack of croup. After that they were only over night admissions.</p><p></p><p>There is another new member called Happy. I just posted at length on her thread and I think a lot of what we have been discussing there, you need to consider also. Things I have not mentioned on her thread include the delayed toilet training - we went through that with both boys. I have not mentioned the sensory issues on the other thread, but I think they are far more likely to apply in your son's case. A common reason for delay in toilet training, is sensory issues. If the child doesn't mentally connect urination with feeling wet, he will be slower in learning to have dry pants. Similarly, the child needs to recognise the full bowel feeling and then know what his body should do. If the connection is slow happening, the child is delayed in this skill.</p><p></p><p>We went through a rough time with bowel training with both boys, especially with difficult child 1. He would not put it in his nappy, and he would not put it in the potty. He seemed to think that it would all go away.</p><p>Even difficult child 3 had the idea that excretion was something he could grow out of. One morning I head him get out of bed noisily, head for the toilet (as he does every morning), slam into the door like a SWAT team on a raid, and from the other side of the door (over the sound of Niagara falls) I heard him exclaim, "Every morning there's wee!"</p><p>He said ti clearly, plus he was out of Pull-Ups, so he had to be at least 8 years old at tis time.</p><p></p><p>We did get there, but we needed help. We muddled through with difficult child 1 but with difficult child 3 we contacted the local autism association and asked them for some referrals - they could help with a neurospych referral, and also with someone who can help with toilet training.</p><p></p><p>I know your son does not have an autism (or PDD0 diagnosis, but I think he is sufficiently similar for them to at least be able to head you in the right direction. If an assessment rules out Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)< that will be useful information and reduce the possibilities. And maybe they will have more direct answers for you.</p><p></p><p>Getting a clear diagnosis can also open doors when it comes to support at school, and other services. It can really help.</p><p></p><p>Good communication between home and school is also vital. We used to write in a book every day, and tat book travelled to school in difficult child 3's bag. The teacher would read what I had written ("He didn't sleep well last night so he may be more irritable today") and would then write back ("He worked well this morning but was difficult to get started in the lesson after lunch") and together it helped us work out the best ways to help the kid. It also helped to have early warning of problems developing.</p><p></p><p>My husband struggles with Plan A/Plan B too, but what helped both of us was when I explained it all to him. I actually wrote a summary to help him, and found that it helped consolidate the information in my own head too, to do this.</p><p></p><p>Also what helped, was when my husband began to lurk here and read all my posts. He would come home and then discuss stuff with me. "I didn't know that is what you meant about X. But in your post it was easier to understand." When we talk, we tend to say either too much waffle, or we get interrupted by kids needing attention. Reading the posts has helped husband get a clearer picture. he has now joined and occasionally posts under his own name ("Marg's Man").</p><p></p><p>That tonsillectomy must have been so scary for you. We went through problems when easy child 2/difficult child 2 had her tonsils out (she was 6, I was pregnant with difficult child 3). She stopped breathing and they were working on her for half an hour or more and all I could see was this totally limp, blue child of mine. But an hour later as I sat beside her (pink at last) she opened her eyes briefly. I asked her how she was, and she clearly did not want to speak but she slipped her little hand out form under the blankets and made a seesawing motion. Quite a character! It was a relief to me.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 398800, member: 1991"] Wow, you've been through the wringers! I'm not a lot of help with finding a neuropsychologist, because our health care system in Australia is so different. A starting point for enquiry could be your local children's hospital. Others will have more specific info for you. The surgeries etc - although it's been a rough ride, I don't think it's enough to cause the other problems you describe. Maybe you've just been really unlucky, is all. difficult child 3 had croup really badly starting when he was 2. But we can look back and see signs of his autism from before - he already was significantly delayed in language at 2, for example, and had a hard time putting the nebuliser mask on, he was terrified of it. We had three days in hospital with the first attack of croup. After that they were only over night admissions. There is another new member called Happy. I just posted at length on her thread and I think a lot of what we have been discussing there, you need to consider also. Things I have not mentioned on her thread include the delayed toilet training - we went through that with both boys. I have not mentioned the sensory issues on the other thread, but I think they are far more likely to apply in your son's case. A common reason for delay in toilet training, is sensory issues. If the child doesn't mentally connect urination with feeling wet, he will be slower in learning to have dry pants. Similarly, the child needs to recognise the full bowel feeling and then know what his body should do. If the connection is slow happening, the child is delayed in this skill. We went through a rough time with bowel training with both boys, especially with difficult child 1. He would not put it in his nappy, and he would not put it in the potty. He seemed to think that it would all go away. Even difficult child 3 had the idea that excretion was something he could grow out of. One morning I head him get out of bed noisily, head for the toilet (as he does every morning), slam into the door like a SWAT team on a raid, and from the other side of the door (over the sound of Niagara falls) I heard him exclaim, "Every morning there's wee!" He said ti clearly, plus he was out of Pull-Ups, so he had to be at least 8 years old at tis time. We did get there, but we needed help. We muddled through with difficult child 1 but with difficult child 3 we contacted the local autism association and asked them for some referrals - they could help with a neurospych referral, and also with someone who can help with toilet training. I know your son does not have an autism (or PDD0 diagnosis, but I think he is sufficiently similar for them to at least be able to head you in the right direction. If an assessment rules out Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)< that will be useful information and reduce the possibilities. And maybe they will have more direct answers for you. Getting a clear diagnosis can also open doors when it comes to support at school, and other services. It can really help. Good communication between home and school is also vital. We used to write in a book every day, and tat book travelled to school in difficult child 3's bag. The teacher would read what I had written ("He didn't sleep well last night so he may be more irritable today") and would then write back ("He worked well this morning but was difficult to get started in the lesson after lunch") and together it helped us work out the best ways to help the kid. It also helped to have early warning of problems developing. My husband struggles with Plan A/Plan B too, but what helped both of us was when I explained it all to him. I actually wrote a summary to help him, and found that it helped consolidate the information in my own head too, to do this. Also what helped, was when my husband began to lurk here and read all my posts. He would come home and then discuss stuff with me. "I didn't know that is what you meant about X. But in your post it was easier to understand." When we talk, we tend to say either too much waffle, or we get interrupted by kids needing attention. Reading the posts has helped husband get a clearer picture. he has now joined and occasionally posts under his own name ("Marg's Man"). That tonsillectomy must have been so scary for you. We went through problems when easy child 2/difficult child 2 had her tonsils out (she was 6, I was pregnant with difficult child 3). She stopped breathing and they were working on her for half an hour or more and all I could see was this totally limp, blue child of mine. But an hour later as I sat beside her (pink at last) she opened her eyes briefly. I asked her how she was, and she clearly did not want to speak but she slipped her little hand out form under the blankets and made a seesawing motion. Quite a character! It was a relief to me. Marg [/QUOTE]
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