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Newbie asking advice on how to deal with gambler son
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 529174" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there and welcome to the board, but I'm really sorry you have to be here.</p><p></p><p>My own opinion is that he is eighteen and gets money for playing a sport. If you don't get to handle his money, he doesn't get any more money from you...not for rent, not for food, not for anything. If he wants his girlfriend to handle his money it is likely because she will take it and give it to him more leniently and I'd cut him off. Why even argue about it? If son gives money HE makes to his girlfriend and she blows it for him, then he learns a lesson (we h ope). If YOU give him money, knowing he will hand it to girlfriend, then it's your fault, not his. You can say "no more."</p><p></p><p>As for your in-laws, it may be a good idea to put a distance between you and them. If they are unpleasant to you, why even talk to them unless you have to and if they start talking about the son, walk away and let their own son deal with them. Don't let your son or your inlaws throw you around. You have a right to make decisions that they don't like and to feel good about making them. You son is a young man now, regardless of his immaturity, and you no longer have to tend to his needs. In fact, doing so can hold him back from growing up. It's time to let him reap the consequences of what he does...as hard as it is to just stand by.</p><p></p><p>I really hoped this helped...a little <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 529174, member: 1550"] Hi there and welcome to the board, but I'm really sorry you have to be here. My own opinion is that he is eighteen and gets money for playing a sport. If you don't get to handle his money, he doesn't get any more money from you...not for rent, not for food, not for anything. If he wants his girlfriend to handle his money it is likely because she will take it and give it to him more leniently and I'd cut him off. Why even argue about it? If son gives money HE makes to his girlfriend and she blows it for him, then he learns a lesson (we h ope). If YOU give him money, knowing he will hand it to girlfriend, then it's your fault, not his. You can say "no more." As for your in-laws, it may be a good idea to put a distance between you and them. If they are unpleasant to you, why even talk to them unless you have to and if they start talking about the son, walk away and let their own son deal with them. Don't let your son or your inlaws throw you around. You have a right to make decisions that they don't like and to feel good about making them. You son is a young man now, regardless of his immaturity, and you no longer have to tend to his needs. In fact, doing so can hold him back from growing up. It's time to let him reap the consequences of what he does...as hard as it is to just stand by. I really hoped this helped...a little :) [/QUOTE]
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Newbie asking advice on how to deal with gambler son
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