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Parent Emeritus
Newbie-At the End of MY Rope!!
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 509228"><p>Oh Sicktired,</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry you are going through this and glad you found us. There are several of us here who have different but similar stories. We understand your pain and heartache.</p><p></p><p>My advice is to continue to step back. Take care of yourself first and foremost. He is 18 and he is making his own choices... this is not your fault. Read what you can about detachment. It sounds like he has substance abuse problems as well as major conduct issues. So you may want to look at the substance abuse board as well. </p><p></p><p>I would recommend going to a family or parents alanon group. They are focused on those whose kids have alcohol or drug problems (which it sounds like your son has) but a lot of what they help with is taking care of yourself and detaching. I know it has helped me immensely.</p><p></p><p>My story has some similarities. I think my son probably ahs a personality disorder but he also has major substance abuse problems... he has been in trouble a lot... has a felony on his record etc. We currently had to let him stay on the streets in another state and refuse to give him money for food.... told him all we would help was with treatment (for SA) and he finally got admitted to a treatment place last night.</p><p></p><p>So I do understand... it is heartbreaking... and yet really there is nothing more you can do.</p><p></p><p>Where is his brothers wife in all this. Is she saying they are together? Or is this one of your sons stories? I would check out what is really going on with your step son.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 509228"] Oh Sicktired, I am so sorry you are going through this and glad you found us. There are several of us here who have different but similar stories. We understand your pain and heartache. My advice is to continue to step back. Take care of yourself first and foremost. He is 18 and he is making his own choices... this is not your fault. Read what you can about detachment. It sounds like he has substance abuse problems as well as major conduct issues. So you may want to look at the substance abuse board as well. I would recommend going to a family or parents alanon group. They are focused on those whose kids have alcohol or drug problems (which it sounds like your son has) but a lot of what they help with is taking care of yourself and detaching. I know it has helped me immensely. My story has some similarities. I think my son probably ahs a personality disorder but he also has major substance abuse problems... he has been in trouble a lot... has a felony on his record etc. We currently had to let him stay on the streets in another state and refuse to give him money for food.... told him all we would help was with treatment (for SA) and he finally got admitted to a treatment place last night. So I do understand... it is heartbreaking... and yet really there is nothing more you can do. Where is his brothers wife in all this. Is she saying they are together? Or is this one of your sons stories? I would check out what is really going on with your step son. Hugs, TL [/QUOTE]
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