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<blockquote data-quote="graceupongrace" data-source="post: 291105" data-attributes="member: 7371"><p>idohope,</p><p></p><p>Welcome. I'm pretty new here, but have found many helpful answers -- and learned many good questions to ask!</p><p></p><p><span style="color: Blue"><em> She tells us that we dont love her and want to change her</em></span></p><p></p><p>My difficult child often plays the "you don't love me" card, or its variant, "I know you hate me." The reality is that our difficult children unload everything on us because they know that we'll love them no matter what. That line is designed specifically to yank your chain.</p><p></p><p>The key is to avoid getting defensive. When I hear that, I calmly say, "Oh. I'm sorry you feel that way, because I do love you." Or I'll say, "Really? How would things look if if I loved you? What would be different?" When I refuse to react to that manipulation, it takes all the fun out of it! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>As far as taking medications, I've made it clear that that's non-negotiable. On the few occasions my difficult child has started to resist, I've pointed out that until he is 18, I am legally responsible for his health care. He could not go to a doctor or hospital and get treatment without my consent; neither can he refuse medications. As I'm sure you know, it's really important for you to understand any medications and how they work if you end up going that route. Not long ago, my difficult child tried to tell me and the psychiatrist that the Vyvanse (stimulant for ADHD) wasn't working. I explained that I could see a clear difference in his behavior before and after he takes his Vyvanse. And psychiatrist showed him test scores with and without medications. That stopped him in his tracks, and he hasn't complained since.</p><p></p><p>Hope this helps!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="graceupongrace, post: 291105, member: 7371"] idohope, Welcome. I'm pretty new here, but have found many helpful answers -- and learned many good questions to ask! [COLOR=Blue][I] She tells us that we dont love her and want to change her[/I][/COLOR] My difficult child often plays the "you don't love me" card, or its variant, "I know you hate me." The reality is that our difficult children unload everything on us because they know that we'll love them no matter what. That line is designed specifically to yank your chain. The key is to avoid getting defensive. When I hear that, I calmly say, "Oh. I'm sorry you feel that way, because I do love you." Or I'll say, "Really? How would things look if if I loved you? What would be different?" When I refuse to react to that manipulation, it takes all the fun out of it! :winking: As far as taking medications, I've made it clear that that's non-negotiable. On the few occasions my difficult child has started to resist, I've pointed out that until he is 18, I am legally responsible for his health care. He could not go to a doctor or hospital and get treatment without my consent; neither can he refuse medications. As I'm sure you know, it's really important for you to understand any medications and how they work if you end up going that route. Not long ago, my difficult child tried to tell me and the psychiatrist that the Vyvanse (stimulant for ADHD) wasn't working. I explained that I could see a clear difference in his behavior before and after he takes his Vyvanse. And psychiatrist showed him test scores with and without medications. That stopped him in his tracks, and he hasn't complained since. Hope this helps! [/QUOTE]
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