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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 291231" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Hope, we ALL know that worn down, exhausted feeling when we just don't feel strong enough to handle something, even if we know that whatever it is, it is vital. You are not alone with this anymore. We are here with you, and will be here for support for as long as you want. </p><p></p><p>There are ways to relieve some of the stress and tension that go hand in hand with her anxiety. An Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation can help with this a lot. They will also help with the sensory stuff. There are a few "quick and easy" things that can help if she is getting tense . One is to ask her to stop and breathe with you. Long slow deep breaths, with her hand on her belly to feel it rise and fall. Count to 5 on the inhale and 5 on the exhale. Another is to reach out and gently rub her ears. The top and side of the ears as well as the earlobe. Be gentle and don't force it. You might try it when she is calm to learn how to do it and to show her how good it feels. Then have her try it on you, if she wants to. It makes all of us into jello. I never use it in the middle of the rage or meltdown but if I can catch a kid before they get that wound up, it can help. </p><p></p><p>Work with her to develop a signal that is just between you and her to tell you when she just cannot handle any more and needs to go. Or to have music or whatever stop if she is at home. You will have to work with her so she learns not to abuse it, but it is a valuable tool. Then explore things in the books by Kranowitz to see what will help her in a meltdown. </p><p></p><p>Just remember that the docs are experts in their field of study. Children are NOT fields. Moms are the experts on kids. Moms carried them under their hearts for many months. Moms carried them in their hearts while they waited and worked through an adoption. Moms spend hours and hours each day with kids. Docs study fields. They spend very short amounts of time with individual kids. </p><p></p><p>So who do you trust to guide you through this maze? (besides the other moms here, of course <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> ) You trust the docs to give you information and informed opinions. You trust your mommy heart and your mommy instincts to guide you through the tough decisions. The big mistakes I made were always when I ignored that feeling that something was wrong. Trust that feeling - it is there for a reason.</p><p></p><p>Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 291231, member: 1233"] Hope, we ALL know that worn down, exhausted feeling when we just don't feel strong enough to handle something, even if we know that whatever it is, it is vital. You are not alone with this anymore. We are here with you, and will be here for support for as long as you want. There are ways to relieve some of the stress and tension that go hand in hand with her anxiety. An Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation can help with this a lot. They will also help with the sensory stuff. There are a few "quick and easy" things that can help if she is getting tense . One is to ask her to stop and breathe with you. Long slow deep breaths, with her hand on her belly to feel it rise and fall. Count to 5 on the inhale and 5 on the exhale. Another is to reach out and gently rub her ears. The top and side of the ears as well as the earlobe. Be gentle and don't force it. You might try it when she is calm to learn how to do it and to show her how good it feels. Then have her try it on you, if she wants to. It makes all of us into jello. I never use it in the middle of the rage or meltdown but if I can catch a kid before they get that wound up, it can help. Work with her to develop a signal that is just between you and her to tell you when she just cannot handle any more and needs to go. Or to have music or whatever stop if she is at home. You will have to work with her so she learns not to abuse it, but it is a valuable tool. Then explore things in the books by Kranowitz to see what will help her in a meltdown. Just remember that the docs are experts in their field of study. Children are NOT fields. Moms are the experts on kids. Moms carried them under their hearts for many months. Moms carried them in their hearts while they waited and worked through an adoption. Moms spend hours and hours each day with kids. Docs study fields. They spend very short amounts of time with individual kids. So who do you trust to guide you through this maze? (besides the other moms here, of course :winking::winking: ) You trust the docs to give you information and informed opinions. You trust your mommy heart and your mommy instincts to guide you through the tough decisions. The big mistakes I made were always when I ignored that feeling that something was wrong. Trust that feeling - it is there for a reason. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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