kuliraga..there are so many experts here on this board. Someone more qualified to reply will be along shortly. Just need to add my 2 cents.
My difficult child is definately ODD. But does not break things or steal. Is not violent, just very verbally defient. Ryan doesn't seem to be stable at all. Before your family splits it may be best to have him evaluated and stablized. He must be feeling awful himself. I am sure he doesn't want to feel that way. The sooner you can get him stable the more your family will adjust. However it does take time.
I initially found this board when difficult child was only 4 or 5. husband would not allow me to be on it so I left for many years, actually until this past year. I just could not handle things any more. I am here almost every day. I find it much, much more supportive than psychiatrist or therapist or any counselor I have gone to. (for me personally) because all of these people live with difficult child's like we do. All different degree's. All very special people. I have learned so very much from these people. I feel as if I really do know them. They have so much knowledge and experience to share.
Breathe. You will recieve great advice here.
I know the book, The Explosive Child is highly recommended. Find some "me" time, go to the library, take a look at this book. You will have a lot to absorb.
