Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Newbie (sorta)
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Woofens" data-source="post: 200743" data-attributes="member: 4425"><p>Totoro, I'm not sure... I never know what is going to set him off or why. Something that works one day blows up in my face the next. Situations that caused him to wig out in the past sometimes cause no reaction. A couple months ago, we took the kids to the zoo for the first time. When we got there I wanted to take a picture of the kids so that if the worst happened ( us getting separated from 1 or more of the kids or difficult child running off) we had a picture with what they were wearing. difficult child refused to let me take a picture and hid in the bushes for over 20 minutes screaming. I finally told M to take S and T and we would catch up. Once I got him out of the bushes I sat with him for another 15-20 minutes on a bench, holding him forcibly until he calmed down and would talk to me. We were relatively OK for the rest of the day. This was a planned trip the kids knew we were going to the zoo that day, and what was expected behavior wise.</p><p></p><p>Then 2 weeks ago, M called me from work and said he was closing for the weekend, and for me to pack for all of us for 2 days, and that we were heading south. 2 hours later we were in the SUV, heading toward Virginia, with no real planned destination. We ended up in Williamsburgh VA and spent the following day at Busch Gardens. difficult child let me take a picture of him at the gate, stood with us for a group shot taken by the park, and only had a fit when we wanted him to dress up for an old time picture in costumes. We eventually talked him into it, and had a relatively calm day after that. </p><p></p><p>I don't even remember what set him off yesterday AM. It was after the phone call from their dad but I don't remember why he exploded. Last night it was the fight over the coloring book. </p><p></p><p>Alot of the time it seems to be a power struggle between him and me. The episode at the DR office was because he didn't want to take his clothes off for the physical, even though we had talked about it and he knew going in he would have to strip to his underwear. He just flat out refused to undress. </p><p></p><p>I'm not sure what I could have done differently.... maybe gone in and found one of his coloring books, but he didn't want to color, he just didn't want S to have a coloring book he said was his that she said was hers. Obviously taking the book didn't solve the issue since he slapped her a few minutes later. If I had given him the book she would have been extremely upset, and it doesn't seem fair to her. I am honestly not sure who the coloring book belongs to. </p><p></p><p>When I had the trouble with difficult child 2 D, he was older, and it was different stuff, in a way but alot of the same too, out right refusal to do his chores, open defiance, refusal to go to school (difficult child 2 is a HS drop out now). So far difficult child 1 has gone to school without much trouble, but alot of mornings he doesn't want to go, but still does. </p><p></p><p>I was on the phone with difficult child 2 today (he called in the middle of the trouble yesterday) and he asked me how it was going. He said so give him to his dad or place him somewhere. I said that didn't work with you, remember, giving you to dad didn't work, and dad giving you back to me just made things even worse. I told him flat out that I knew we had messed up with him and that I wanted to try to do things right with difficult child J, to fix the problems before he got totally out of control. difficult child D told me he was never that bad LOL. Maybe not in some ways, but he was older and the thing he did were worse because of his age (like setting my kitchen on fire). I asked D flat out, so if J acts like this when he is 6, what is he gonna be like at 16? D said, yea you need to find out how to fix it now.</p><p></p><p>Yesterday I asked M if he could ask any of his police officer friends to come just talk to difficult child maybe explain to him that if this continues, he is going to end up in the juvenile system. I'm not sure what is going to happen with that. His police officer friends are in a different county than what we reside in so they have no authority here, but I don't think that will make a difference to difficult child. I just want him to realize that in the legal sense what he is doing here is not acceptable, and that we do have legal action we can take. I don't think he understands that. I'm not sure that I want to involve juvenile yet... he is so young. I have an uncle that is a Captain in a neighboring police dept, I might call him and ask him for his opinion/ or to talk to him. I hate to do that as it seems the only time I talk to him is when I need help with something (advice, etc). </p><p></p><p>M took difficult child to work with him, so my house is peaceful until 5:30 or so hopefully.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Woofens, post: 200743, member: 4425"] Totoro, I'm not sure... I never know what is going to set him off or why. Something that works one day blows up in my face the next. Situations that caused him to wig out in the past sometimes cause no reaction. A couple months ago, we took the kids to the zoo for the first time. When we got there I wanted to take a picture of the kids so that if the worst happened ( us getting separated from 1 or more of the kids or difficult child running off) we had a picture with what they were wearing. difficult child refused to let me take a picture and hid in the bushes for over 20 minutes screaming. I finally told M to take S and T and we would catch up. Once I got him out of the bushes I sat with him for another 15-20 minutes on a bench, holding him forcibly until he calmed down and would talk to me. We were relatively OK for the rest of the day. This was a planned trip the kids knew we were going to the zoo that day, and what was expected behavior wise. Then 2 weeks ago, M called me from work and said he was closing for the weekend, and for me to pack for all of us for 2 days, and that we were heading south. 2 hours later we were in the SUV, heading toward Virginia, with no real planned destination. We ended up in Williamsburgh VA and spent the following day at Busch Gardens. difficult child let me take a picture of him at the gate, stood with us for a group shot taken by the park, and only had a fit when we wanted him to dress up for an old time picture in costumes. We eventually talked him into it, and had a relatively calm day after that. I don't even remember what set him off yesterday AM. It was after the phone call from their dad but I don't remember why he exploded. Last night it was the fight over the coloring book. Alot of the time it seems to be a power struggle between him and me. The episode at the DR office was because he didn't want to take his clothes off for the physical, even though we had talked about it and he knew going in he would have to strip to his underwear. He just flat out refused to undress. I'm not sure what I could have done differently.... maybe gone in and found one of his coloring books, but he didn't want to color, he just didn't want S to have a coloring book he said was his that she said was hers. Obviously taking the book didn't solve the issue since he slapped her a few minutes later. If I had given him the book she would have been extremely upset, and it doesn't seem fair to her. I am honestly not sure who the coloring book belongs to. When I had the trouble with difficult child 2 D, he was older, and it was different stuff, in a way but alot of the same too, out right refusal to do his chores, open defiance, refusal to go to school (difficult child 2 is a HS drop out now). So far difficult child 1 has gone to school without much trouble, but alot of mornings he doesn't want to go, but still does. I was on the phone with difficult child 2 today (he called in the middle of the trouble yesterday) and he asked me how it was going. He said so give him to his dad or place him somewhere. I said that didn't work with you, remember, giving you to dad didn't work, and dad giving you back to me just made things even worse. I told him flat out that I knew we had messed up with him and that I wanted to try to do things right with difficult child J, to fix the problems before he got totally out of control. difficult child D told me he was never that bad LOL. Maybe not in some ways, but he was older and the thing he did were worse because of his age (like setting my kitchen on fire). I asked D flat out, so if J acts like this when he is 6, what is he gonna be like at 16? D said, yea you need to find out how to fix it now. Yesterday I asked M if he could ask any of his police officer friends to come just talk to difficult child maybe explain to him that if this continues, he is going to end up in the juvenile system. I'm not sure what is going to happen with that. His police officer friends are in a different county than what we reside in so they have no authority here, but I don't think that will make a difference to difficult child. I just want him to realize that in the legal sense what he is doing here is not acceptable, and that we do have legal action we can take. I don't think he understands that. I'm not sure that I want to involve juvenile yet... he is so young. I have an uncle that is a Captain in a neighboring police dept, I might call him and ask him for his opinion/ or to talk to him. I hate to do that as it seems the only time I talk to him is when I need help with something (advice, etc). M took difficult child to work with him, so my house is peaceful until 5:30 or so hopefully. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Newbie (sorta)
Top