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Newbie to site- alone in my battle to help my 7yr old
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<blockquote data-quote="ATaLOSS" data-source="post: 314594"><p>With regard to the video games: this has been his hyperfocus for months on end and the only reason he's excited to come to my house- I do regulate the games but even the age-appropriate games have violence in one form or another. After reading your post, my plan is to get rid of all of the video games that have any violence in them - I'm not a 'book burner' but I've been uncomfortable with what I've seen and like you, have thought most of them are harmless. Thank you for your valuable input and stay tuned because I undoubtedly will be 'in for it' when he comes on Thursday and Halloween weekend. Have never hesitated to do what is right but anticipate a very violent reaction.</p><p> </p><p>I spoke with my siser at length tonight and she told me how valuable these forums are. She to has 2 difficult children and is proud that I have reached out. She has educated many docs through her research and relationships with folks just like you, so again, thank you- I know I'm in the right place.</p><p> </p><p>It may seem weak that I voluntarily gave custody to my child's father. At the time, I had only one professional on board and took his advice as bible passage. I waited, and prayed, and tried, and struggled....and no other answers come to me. His father had gone through parenting classes, etc and seemed genuinely concerned and involved. He has since changed faces, thus the "I can fix this" attitude. I have respectfully stood by, waiting, watching, and hoping he was right. Even if it meant he could hold it over my head and claim he was right that I was a terrible mother - if it meant my son was doing well, I'd take it a million times over. There is no room for pride in motherhood, as you all know. However, I have been paralyzed and seriously debilitated over the situation and have probably become complacent- awaking only to cry every other weekend to people who literally are speechless; well-meaning and concerned but not educated in complex issues such as mine. </p><p> </p><p>Regarding the advice to seek out an IEP and the state's assistance: tomorrow I will contact the agency for child health and welfare. I WILL get an advocate on board who will listen and fight along with me to get my son some help. My x can be forced to comply. This very uneducated man is about to learn that I entrusted my son to him, gave him the room he needed, but neither him, nor I can fix things. It is selfish and grandiose to think bullying, haircuts, etc can put a dent in this situation. I will not look back, with my son in juvenile det or jail and say I saw it coming. My son NEEDS me - and I need you.</p><p> </p><p>I am going to keep you all posted and I so hope you will continue checking in. I need the advice and validation. I am ignorant on how to navigate this forum, etc, but I will spend some time trying to figure it out.</p><p> </p><p>Thank you again, and please keep your knowledge and experience coming our way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ATaLOSS, post: 314594"] With regard to the video games: this has been his hyperfocus for months on end and the only reason he's excited to come to my house- I do regulate the games but even the age-appropriate games have violence in one form or another. After reading your post, my plan is to get rid of all of the video games that have any violence in them - I'm not a 'book burner' but I've been uncomfortable with what I've seen and like you, have thought most of them are harmless. Thank you for your valuable input and stay tuned because I undoubtedly will be 'in for it' when he comes on Thursday and Halloween weekend. Have never hesitated to do what is right but anticipate a very violent reaction. I spoke with my siser at length tonight and she told me how valuable these forums are. She to has 2 difficult children and is proud that I have reached out. She has educated many docs through her research and relationships with folks just like you, so again, thank you- I know I'm in the right place. It may seem weak that I voluntarily gave custody to my child's father. At the time, I had only one professional on board and took his advice as bible passage. I waited, and prayed, and tried, and struggled....and no other answers come to me. His father had gone through parenting classes, etc and seemed genuinely concerned and involved. He has since changed faces, thus the "I can fix this" attitude. I have respectfully stood by, waiting, watching, and hoping he was right. Even if it meant he could hold it over my head and claim he was right that I was a terrible mother - if it meant my son was doing well, I'd take it a million times over. There is no room for pride in motherhood, as you all know. However, I have been paralyzed and seriously debilitated over the situation and have probably become complacent- awaking only to cry every other weekend to people who literally are speechless; well-meaning and concerned but not educated in complex issues such as mine. Regarding the advice to seek out an IEP and the state's assistance: tomorrow I will contact the agency for child health and welfare. I WILL get an advocate on board who will listen and fight along with me to get my son some help. My x can be forced to comply. This very uneducated man is about to learn that I entrusted my son to him, gave him the room he needed, but neither him, nor I can fix things. It is selfish and grandiose to think bullying, haircuts, etc can put a dent in this situation. I will not look back, with my son in juvenile det or jail and say I saw it coming. My son NEEDS me - and I need you. I am going to keep you all posted and I so hope you will continue checking in. I need the advice and validation. I am ignorant on how to navigate this forum, etc, but I will spend some time trying to figure it out. Thank you again, and please keep your knowledge and experience coming our way. [/QUOTE]
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