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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 118036" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>I've got a kid who has had Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) traits, severe anxiety, Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), and ODD so I hear you. If it encourages you at all, we talk about most of us as past tense these days. </p><p></p><p>My first advice to you would be to get a copy of the book The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. You will need to adopt a whole different approach to parenting than most parents and when I read that I realized that even though I thought I was being flexible, I had a long way to go to get to the point to really help him instead of adding to the struggles. It will help you sort out the discipline issue--honestly we mostly quit doing time outs, etc because it made him worse and didn't accomplish anything.</p><p></p><p>My husband's trick on the computer is to stealthily reach behind it and unplug the connection to the internet. If you aren't already, try using a visual schedule. Are they using PECS at school?</p><p></p><p>It's very common for boys with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) to not potty train until age 5. I tried and tried but I didn't get anywhere until age 5, a surgery to correct a minor urinary tract problem, and incentives that really made him work for it. The little stuff didn't do squat. When I offered Magic School Bus computer games and was flexible in doling them out, we were on our way. It wasn't cheap, but neither were those huge Pampers. </p><p></p><p>Anxiety--what do you have set up at home in terms of addressing Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)? My difficult child's thing is swinging/spinning and we have a mini gym with therapy swing in the basement. During those rough times swinging was a major outlet right after activities and the last thing he'd do before going off to school or other anxiety filled event. We also started a routine of when he started into meltdown, going for a snack and show in his room (portable tv). I made it very sensory rich: bean bag, weighted blanket, saltines with peanut butter, Sprite or juice through a straw, hot water bottle if he wanted it, etc. It didn't take long until he was asking for this when he felt himself heating up. </p><p></p><p>What supports have been put into place for anxiety--schedule, calendar, etc? You won't be able to get through when she's perservating but you may be able to cover a lot of bases. Progress in this area is often slow, and frustrating to the parent but it's critical to view these fears as very, very real fears because to her they are. I have to tell you that this week my difficult child who could hardly leave the house in 1st grade had his first full band practice and concert. He was nervous about the practice (high school, different director, etc) but mostly centered on whether his dad not come and pick him up. In the past one of us would have had to stay for the entire practice--this time around I fixed him up with a written schedule with copy for dad, a cell phone with numbers listed, and a back up plan for which parent to see if dad didn't show up. When I told him goodbye he made me promise to step out of my meeting and call dad to remind him (this wouldn't have happened if I was the pick up person--for some reason he was nervous about his dad doing it). Afterwards I was prepared to give him downtime alone and had a snack, drink, and handheld system ready to go. Yup, it took some extra steps to get him there and get him there comfortably, but the supports enable him to get over the hurdles and often to face the same situation the next time without the anxiety. Even if you opt for medications, you will want to explore these types of supports.</p><p></p><p>FWIW, I'd also delay sleep overs. 6 is very young to begin with, and she has lot of other issues going on.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 118036, member: 701"] I've got a kid who has had Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) traits, severe anxiety, Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), and ODD so I hear you. If it encourages you at all, we talk about most of us as past tense these days. My first advice to you would be to get a copy of the book The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. You will need to adopt a whole different approach to parenting than most parents and when I read that I realized that even though I thought I was being flexible, I had a long way to go to get to the point to really help him instead of adding to the struggles. It will help you sort out the discipline issue--honestly we mostly quit doing time outs, etc because it made him worse and didn't accomplish anything. My husband's trick on the computer is to stealthily reach behind it and unplug the connection to the internet. If you aren't already, try using a visual schedule. Are they using PECS at school? It's very common for boys with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) to not potty train until age 5. I tried and tried but I didn't get anywhere until age 5, a surgery to correct a minor urinary tract problem, and incentives that really made him work for it. The little stuff didn't do squat. When I offered Magic School Bus computer games and was flexible in doling them out, we were on our way. It wasn't cheap, but neither were those huge Pampers. Anxiety--what do you have set up at home in terms of addressing Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)? My difficult child's thing is swinging/spinning and we have a mini gym with therapy swing in the basement. During those rough times swinging was a major outlet right after activities and the last thing he'd do before going off to school or other anxiety filled event. We also started a routine of when he started into meltdown, going for a snack and show in his room (portable tv). I made it very sensory rich: bean bag, weighted blanket, saltines with peanut butter, Sprite or juice through a straw, hot water bottle if he wanted it, etc. It didn't take long until he was asking for this when he felt himself heating up. What supports have been put into place for anxiety--schedule, calendar, etc? You won't be able to get through when she's perservating but you may be able to cover a lot of bases. Progress in this area is often slow, and frustrating to the parent but it's critical to view these fears as very, very real fears because to her they are. I have to tell you that this week my difficult child who could hardly leave the house in 1st grade had his first full band practice and concert. He was nervous about the practice (high school, different director, etc) but mostly centered on whether his dad not come and pick him up. In the past one of us would have had to stay for the entire practice--this time around I fixed him up with a written schedule with copy for dad, a cell phone with numbers listed, and a back up plan for which parent to see if dad didn't show up. When I told him goodbye he made me promise to step out of my meeting and call dad to remind him (this wouldn't have happened if I was the pick up person--for some reason he was nervous about his dad doing it). Afterwards I was prepared to give him downtime alone and had a snack, drink, and handheld system ready to go. Yup, it took some extra steps to get him there and get him there comfortably, but the supports enable him to get over the hurdles and often to face the same situation the next time without the anxiety. Even if you opt for medications, you will want to explore these types of supports. FWIW, I'd also delay sleep overs. 6 is very young to begin with, and she has lot of other issues going on. [/QUOTE]
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